The Celebrity Life & Blog of DM

2010-08-10T20:47:00.003-05:00

David's Southern Chicken Crock Pot Recipe

Remember our parents cooking with a Crock Pot? Well, here's something I made up today leveraging the magical power of one said device (while job hunting... ah, the fun). Anyway, two words: 'De-licious'.. Ok, so that's one word, but yeah, it's awesome! It's actually a fusion of several different recipes plus stuff I added because I thought it would taste even better. And it did. Ha! Enjoy!

- One Whole Chicken
- Package of frozen Black-Eyed Peas
- 1/2 large purple onion (cut in 1/2 inch sections)
- 1/2 large Garlic clove (cut into quarter inch dices)
- Cup of Cherry Tomatoes
- 1/2 Green Apple
- 3 tablespoons of butter
- 5 tablespoons of Olive Oil
- 4 slices of smoked or black pepper bacon
- 1/4 cup of Heifenwiezen beer
- 1/4 cup of chicken broth
- 2 Tablespoons of Old Bay
- 3 Tablespoons of Italian Salt Rub mix
- 2 Tablespoons of Black Pepper

Cover bottom of crock pot with olive oil and drop whole chicken in. Slide slices of green apple into cavity. Pour oil and rub butter all over chicken, add spices and seasonings over all chicken area. Pour in peas, cut garlic, onions, beer and broth around chicken. Place Bacon stripes around chicken.

Options: Add a shot or two of Triple Sec and/or a couple packets of Taco Bell Hot Sauce.

Place on High for 4 hours and low for 2-3 hours to complete.

Done!

2010-01-04T12:24:00.002-06:00

Happy Job Hunt 2010!

Here's a list of job-hunting resolutions from Job.com . ok, so yeah, I actually added one.

I will review which tactics did and did not yield results in 2009, and I will work to understand how I might improve in those areas that did not do as well as I had hoped.
I will set myself weekly goals during my job search and keep to their deadlines.
I will consider my job search a full-time job and will not become complacent with my current situation. I will prioritize my job search above television, video games, or recreational internet use.
I will not spam my resume to companies where I am seeking employment. Instead, I will tailor my resume to each company, so that my relevant skills are stressed for each specific position of department. The company will know I am serious and intent on working there.
I will send thank-you cards after every interview, whether I thought the interview went well or poorly.
I will start attending more job fairs and networking events, including those that may put me outside of my traditional industry.
I will start considering a wide array of employment opportunities, instead of only the areas I've been used to.
I will provide or demonstrate my value to my newly-made contacts first, before asking for their help.
I will meet, whether by phone,direct e-mail, or in person, three new people who can help me in my job search each week.
I will not depend on my network to find a job for me, but will view it as one of several methods of finding employment.
I will become a fan of Job.com on Facebook to receive up to date job market information and exclusive career advice.
I will do volunteer work to keep myself busy, and to also answer the question interviewers will put to me regarding what I have been up to recently in my unemployment.
I will ask friends or family to give me full and honest criticism of my resume and of my interview tactics, even if it may be difficult to hear.
I will be open to exploring many new options in the job market, understanding that there may be interesting opportunities beyond my traditional field.
I will not become frustrated with my job search, or, if I do, I will not take out that frustration on my friends or family.
I will follow David on twitter

2009-12-01T13:50:00.002-06:00

Tareq & Michaele Salahi: The Email Invite for the White House State Dinner:

From: Amanda S <>
To: Tareq and Michaele <TandM@aol.com>

Re: Whitehouse Dinner Part-teeeee!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi cousin!

Heyyy! I wanna invite you guys to the Whitehouse State Dinner!!! :-D

This gonna be so much funnnnnnnnn!!! The Indians are gonna be there! (dot on head - not feather in hair LOL). U gotta come! I can get you both in since I’m interning (sp?) at the reception table! Sooooo Funnnnnn! =)

Dress indianish (like Slumdog Millionaire) and wear red! The press loveeessss red! (so does Michelle O). I’ll make sure you get to meet famous people 2! I know Rahm Emanuel (brought him coffee last week) and his brother is that guy that Entourage is all about! HOW COOL IZ DAT??

Not sure if I can get you actual seats at the dinner (it’s kinda crappy food anyway), but DEF for drinks and meeting peeps! Can u say OPEN BARRRR? LOL

Just tell them your names and say your with me. If that doesn’t work, text me and I’ll shoot you a name to use. (not everyone shows up - CAN’t BELIEVE tHaT! Who’d miss it???) Just ACT like you’re supposed to be there and be all snotty and they’ll prob let you in without any problem! OHHHH. If they ask where your paper invite is - tell them you left in Pelosi’s limo! That ALwAys works!!!! Bring a camera and take pics for your Facebook page! Funnnnn!

See you guys there!

Amanda

PS: Sorry you got kicked out of the last black tie party, I spellt your name wrong on the guest list - (BTW: is “Michaele” << this right??)

xoxoxoxoxo

2009-11-11T14:48:00.002-06:00

"About Us" ....

Just reviewed one of the most vague 'about us' sections I have ever read. ever. did I say ever? ok, yeah, ever..

"(BigCorp) is dedicated to enabling you to achieve the rewards, freedom and control you’ve always wanted while also making a real difference to your clients and community. (BigCorp) appreciates that real success takes the whole person into account, and we give our team members the respect, training and support to realize your goals and dreams. And (BigCorp) is the leader in providing client management solutions to businesses of all sizes. Our entrepreneurial associates provide exceptional value to our clients through superior products, a passion for service, and a relentless focus on improvement."

Well... that just told me everything I need to know!

Score: Fail.

2009-11-11T07:28:00.001-06:00

Former Sex Kittens Help Bring LA Declaw Vote to State Level

The Barbi Twins, instrumental advocates for the city of Los Angeles' ban on declawing, are now taking the issue to state level in California.

Monday, 11/09/2009 - The Barbi Twins, made infamous in the 90's for their record-breaking Playboy covers, top-selling calendars and their E! True Hollywood Story documentary have now retired to become full-time animal activists. Their newest and most urgent animal campaign is a nationwide ban on the painful practice of declawing cats.

This past Friday, the city of Los Angeles voted to ban the practice of Onychectomy, the medical term for declawing. The movement is spreading nationwide as towns and cities become aware of the facts behind the inhumane practice. "In a perfect world, my sister and I would like less government involvement, but the government must step in for those who have no voice and in this case, the animals need that help!" Shane said. "When big business interferes, comes in and tries to profit from cruel practices on animals, then we have to stop their actions." Sia added.

"Most people don't realize the declawing of cats is a cruel amputation of a cat's 'fingers' or 'toes' which can increase crippling of the animal by as much as 50%." Sia said. Reportedly, Veterinarians advise declawing of animals for owners who have poor immune systems. The idea of course, is to reduce any accidental scratches to the skin. However, declawed animals have shown an increase in behavioral problems, biting and unwanted marking of furniture and carpets. Many owners claim that when their natural primary defense is taken away by declawing, aggressive behavior quickly follows and some cats even stop using their litter box because of the initial pain. But fighting against an industry, where individual vet clinics can net $100,000 a year just from the procedure, is a most difficult proposition. It is a battle which involves educating the public with facts and studies. Even the USDA has recently banned declawing of big cats (Tigers, Lions, etc.) as an inhumane and cruel practice. The United States has no broad laws banning declawing of small cats, while 20 other countries, including Brazil, Japan, Israel and most of Europe have outlawed the practice on pets.

On January 1, 2010 the veterinarian associations are working to pass a law prohibiting any interference in regards to the surgical practice of declawing. "Compassionate people are trying to move ahead of this movement to ban the declawing of cats city by city before the SB 762 Bill becomes law." Shane said. "People are responding. There are already cities outside California, like Norfolk, Virginia, passing laws against declawing. In nationwide polls concerning animal safety or cruelty - like in the Michael Vick case - people will always side with the animals and now is the time for us to become proactive on this issue." Sia added. "Call your own local and state representatives to push for legislature to prevent this state bill and to stop declawing of animals in your own neighborhood."

"Contrary to what many believe, declawed cats are the pets usually abandoned because owners, who choose their furniture's well-being over their cat's, will rarely put up with behavioral issues brought on by the declawing," Shane emphasized. "That's right sis. Get a cat scratching post if you're worried about your furniture. In fact, our old pictures are now popular because they are used for scratching postsinstead of dart boards, and also now used to line the kitty litter boxes!"

"Seriously, we want people to know about this issue. Please go to pawproject.org to find out which cities need support, which cities are voting on the issue now and learn which ones have been successful. Boycott any vet that practices cat declawing. We must put a stop to this cruel and needless act on our animal friends."

Website:

http://www.pawproject.org/

Press Contact:

David M Burrows
214.660.4223
214.674.3283

2009-10-30T09:06:00.002-05:00

A Modest Revenue Proposal / Idea for Twitter

This is just a quick and relatively small revenue source Twitter could launch quickly and easily. This would also eliminate much of the unnecessary "spam" users are receiving via DM (Direct Messages). I mean, there's just so many Trump Networks, Teeth Whitening Methods, blogs I can read and boobies I can look at in a given day.

So, here's the premise: DMs are the 140 character messages which go directly to a users account. Now, some of us also tie those DMs to our email and/or iphones, BlackBerry's et al. Basically, this is the most direct way to contact someone. Think of it. You could basically send a text message to Jimmy Fallon, Lance Armstrong or Ashton Kutcher (as long as they were also following you). So, here's the math:

Twitter begins charging per DM. Say, just .08 cents. Cheap! I receive - on average - about 9 DMs per day. That's about 270 per month. So, collectively, other users DM-ing me would be spending $21.60 per month. Let's say (discarding any proper research or demographical studies) that only 10% of Twitters 8 million unique users would utilize the "Pay 2 DM" concept. That would equal 800,000 x $21.60 (avg of collective DMs received) which would bring Twitters revenue on this little segment to $17,280,000. Wa~La! Twitter is officially making money! Wikipedia claims they are only bringing in $400,000 in Q3 09. I believe my idea would bring that up by $51,840,000 ... yeah, over 51 million. Put that in your Q4!

There you go Jack, Evan and Biz... I'll take payment for my idea in stock options. :-D

oooh... I gotta go twitter this... BRB

2009-06-09T18:00:00.002-05:00

Discussion at Taco Bell Drive Thru Today....

TB: "Wecome to Tacoo Beel. Wuud you like to try a Volcano Tacoo tooday?"

DM: "Um, I think I'll have the number."

TB: "Hello? What iz yur odor?

DM: "Yes. I would like to have the number four meal with a diet pepsi."

TB: "Ok. Two numbo five and ice tea?"

DM: "No. Ok, I want only one NUMBER FOUR WITH A DIET PEPSI"

TB: "Um, so... numbo for and die pepsi?"

DM: "Yes. and throw in a Volcano taco."

TB: "Numbo for, die pepsi and 3 tacos?"

DM: "uh... (sigh) yeah."

2009-01-07T08:05:00.000-06:00

Awesome Day Ahead...

Just hope I didn't jinx it by typing that now...

2008-11-21T18:27:00.002-06:00

The Complete Unraveling of Global Economies and the Destruction of Modern Culture

Not that I wanted to be a negative a-hole or anything right before Thanksgiving... but I did write about all this Global Economy crap back in July of this year (check my posts)... afterwards, I had friends and readers writing me telling me I was all nuts and 'doom and gloom'. .... Hey, I'm the most optimistic guy in the hood, but when you read the headline of this post, it sums up what I truly believe will happen in the next 3-6 months. We have to understand, at some point, in some period of time, all things fall apart. It always does. Like a volcano erupting and creating destructive lava flows.. Yet, it is always temporary. You just need to understand the Universe's definition of "temporary". It is not ours. IE: The Ice Age - temporary. The Big Bang - temporary. The time-line of history where we are, will also be temporary - however, it will change all of our lives like no other event in modern history has. Just be prepared and look for opportunities in that change. The greatest advancements in evolution, creation and betterments - all come from dramatic, life-changing upheavals. And I'm not talking about upgrading your Blackberry to a Storm or going online and ordering a Tesla. This will be change which may very well take us back to our origins of human development and try our most primordial instincts - hang on, think clear and be creative. Now is the time.

2008-10-16T16:45:00.001-05:00

Foreshadow - (fôr-shăd'ō, fōr-)
To present an indication or a suggestion of beforehand; presage.

2008-10-09T17:11:00.003-05:00

Brian Loncar Stole My Turkey Sandwich

Which is fine with me since I had an extra BLT I ordered for our crew... this happened at MPS Studios today. Taking a quick lunch break from shooting with a new client, Brian came by and saw the extra bag from Jason's Deli on the counter. "Can I have this?", he asked in a very legal tone. "Uh... " , I thought about objecting.. "I need it, I'm going to physical therapy now."... he adds. Wow, how do you say 'no' to someone in pain and hunger? His opening and closing arguments completed in less than 30-seconds, I gave in ... I also gave him my Fzzz! Media biz card. "You get this with the sandwich." I told him... he looked surprised as if the judge just added an extra 6-months of probation for his client...

for there is no free lunch Brian, no. Not even for the Strong Arm.

2008-10-06T13:54:00.002-05:00

I left my favorite pair of sunglasses at Bram Stoker's great-grandson's island home.

Seriously, I did. You can't make this kind of stuff up.

2008-09-29T22:28:00.002-05:00

REM said it best ...

Chin up America!

2008-09-25T07:14:00.002-05:00

McCain Just Gave the Election to Obama

I'm sure the motivation for McCain 'suspending' the campaign was born out of that Katrina photo of him and Bush holding his giant birthday cake as people died in New Orleans. But this economy mess (which has been building for years - thanks to Phil Gramm) isn't a hurricane and just makes McCain look like he's running away from Obama and the debate at hand. Letterman's heavy handed response to his canceling the guest appearance (while McCain's on live with Couric) just cemented how out of touch this Republican campaign is. This is just another example in a series of bad choices from McCain, and they just keep getting worse and more pronounced. From, "the economy is strong, all the negativity is all in your head" - to one week later - "things are such a mess financially, we have to suspend the campaign". Wow. Just wow. So, the bottom line? Like him or not... get used to saying President Obama for the next four years.

2008-09-23T13:56:00.002-05:00

"The Land Rover Experience" or
"The Beatings Have Been Rescheduled to Next Tuesday at Eleven"

Yeah, that's Land Rover's corporate tagline (the other headline, I just made up)... but what the new CEO of Land Rover, Jaguar and Tata experienced Monday, was far from a high-end, luxury 'experience'. In fact, he was beaten to death by employees after they had been laid off. Beaten to death? Yes, beaten to death by hundreds of very angry Indian people. Wow... But, back here in America... when CEOs layoff everyone, then disappear with tens of millions of dollars AND force the taxpayers to bailout what's left of the company... we just write mean things about them on CNN and then buy their books on 'doing business in the new economy'. Somewhere, in all of this craziness, is a solution on how to deal with corporations which are out of control. So, while we're searching for that answer, I'll just say that I kind of lean towards the beating solution myself...

2008-08-23T17:05:00.002-05:00

Fine China

Ok, we need to give China a break. I mean, here they've probably spent more money and time than any other government in Olympic history by closing major factories, building creative-iconic structures, diverting traffic, forcing its citizens to clean up seaweed, etc. They tried really hard to host the Olympics in a way no country has before. They needed to win big to! So what if their government lied about the age of their gymnasts. Our own government has lied to us about worse things (see recent news on "Iraq"). So, ok... give China a break. Whatever, they lied, we all know she's like 14. Speaking of that... why make such a fuss when a 14 yr old girl can kick your Olympic asses? I mean, really. A fourteen year old girl can beat you and you complain?? She needs two gold medals I think.

2008-08-18T14:43:00.002-05:00

"Mad Men" Totally Rips Off Our Concept

So, I'm just now catching up on the whole "Mad Men" craze, and watched an episode last night. I'm fascinated by it as it has shadows of David Lynch in its writing and directing and of course, it's about an advertising agency.

SO... about half way through my pre-DVR edit, a scene comes up where a certain "Mrs. Barrett" enters Draper's (main character - creative director at the agency). She is impetuous and flirt y. Blonde and wealthy. She announces she wants her "own tv show"... Draper asks her about it and she tells him the concept and then announces the name of it... "Grin & Barrett"... "I made it up myself."

ORLY?

2008-07-27T14:36:00.003-05:00

Coming this Fall! The Global Financial Crash

I'm no economist, but I had a great professor who served on the board of the Dallas Federal Reserve. And while that still doesn't really qualify me either, I've told people we're heading towards a very big financial mess - possibly, the worst the world has ever seen - in the coming months. From my own simple observations, here's why I think so....

10. Several top European banks are warning of such a crisis. This is not unheard of, but the strong language they use is. (i.e. - "meltdown", "depression", etc.)

9. Feds discount-sell Bear Sterns to Chase Morgan. This was also an unprecedented move since the Federal Reserve has only done this with banks and savings and loans.

8. Auto manufacturers: Chrysler has suspended their lease program. There are more rumors of GM and Ford heading into bankruptcy later this year. That is the entire US car industry.

7. Dark times call for Dark movies: The hit films this year echo our worries and fears even in entertainment.

6. More bank failures: UK Times reports the feds have over 90 banks on their watch/failure list. Indybank was not even on the list. Oh, and two banks with 28 branches were seized over the weekend.

5. Tax rebate? Didn't even make a ripple on the economy.

4. Credit cards: According to the trade news, people are using their cards to purchase food, gas and pay utilities - not to buy Prada shoes, Vegas vacations or electronics.

3. Oil. a stressed-out economy doesn't need to be hit with higher petrol prices - which will affect everything.

2. Other large industry trends: Airlines, publishing, retail, etc. Pick an industry and bankruptcies, price increases, layoffs and bad news exists.

1. Mortgages: Last year, foreclosures hit a record. So far this year? They're up over 200%. Look for this to move from homes to commercial real estate this fall. Institutional investors aren't ready for that and neither are the global markets.

1a. Dollar: tied at #1 is the falling dollar with low interest rates on Treasury bills. When Europe and the Pacific basin stop buying the dollar and start selling it to save themselves? All hell will break loose.

1b. Federal Reserve: Ok, a 3-way tie. The last set of bank failures used up 20% of the Fed's reserve for rescue, and remember, there are 90 banks on the list.

My next post will be about Unicorns, Daisey's and German beer. :-D

2008-07-14T16:06:00.002-05:00

My Next Plan is to Teach Harley How to Paint

Harley is smart. Harley is teachable. Harley has a lot of free time at the house while we are at work. After Margaret and I watched this on CBS Sunday Morning (yeah, I feel old now that I'm watching this kind of programming), we decided our JR needed a creative outlet. Well, that and each of 'Tillie the painting dog's' creations sell for between $1,200 and $2,100 and she has sold over 100 paintings. She basically just bites and digs at the shrouded paper. I'm betting I can teach Harley how to sculpt. Or, at least perhaps, make interesting shaped poo.
Wish me luck.

2008-07-13T19:25:00.002-05:00

Paging Dr. Phil Gramm...

Ok, I tried to wait a few days before posting, but I'm still mad as hell about this. What kind of arrogant, detached, stupid fuck says what this guy did last week? I mean, seriously. And I should point out here that in my college days, I supported, volunteered and even skipped class defending Congressman Gramm. But today, the entire Republican Party is soooo far out of touch with the real world. They make the Roman Emperors look like high school guidance counselors. Why on Earth (or any planet for that matter) would Phil say such a stupid thing? Besides being so far out of touch with today's America (hey, its easy to think the whole world is being 'whiners' when you're making $3mil a year and have everyone else doing your work - including wiping you apparently). But I think the Republican Party is playing 'defense' so hard this year, they can't make any offensive moves... oh sure, they can BE offensive... but don't look for any real ideas, solutions or anything materially positive to come from this group for years to come. I don't like the Democrats either. Both parties look so similar, there's really no answer for America voters this year. Sad and frightening. As a desperate measure, I'm voting for Obama. Good luck and stock your bomb shelter.

2008-07-03T16:04:00.002-05:00

Urban Legend Taco

So today our crew had lunch at Mockingbird Station's Urban Taco. I've been wanting to try it for weeks (as I love Mexican food). However, this visit was disappointing. In fact, 93.4% of my trips to Taco Bell have been better. I ordered (after being rushed by a grumpy/stressed staff member) the a 7-layer salad (which was small and tossed - no layers). Several of us asked that the Cilantro be removed but that small task proved to be impossible. On top of our so-so food which took forever (it was like Time Warner Cable was running the kitchen production line). We got high-brow attitude! Hey... My advice: If you're going to charge people 10-bux for 3 tacos, at least be nice about it. Until then, I'm going back to Taco Bell where they at least thank me for driving around to the next window and give me extra hot sauce.

2008-06-13T08:28:00.002-05:00

ABC News Does What M. Night Couldn't ...

Watching "Good Morning America" this week, they put down their coffee cups and stories about rescued puppies to showcase their new "perfect storm" project to scare everyone shitless. "Are we living in the last century of our civilization?" was the question. I thought maybe the ABC folks were just worried about their own tv jobs, but apparently, this is a world question. So, since global warming is kinda passe as an Al Gore for VP story, they've wrapped up every possible frightening event you can imagine and spun it into a viewer created project Earth 2100. Kids talk about milk costing $12 a carton, spinning tornados taking out entire cities, riots from Mexicans wanting our jobs and houses, etc. etc. No where is safe and you will be dead by 2100. But then again, we'll all be dead. Anyway, kudos for ABC doing what the Happening couldn't do this summer... I'm having M. Nightmares.

2008-05-15T11:19:00.001-05:00

My Morning Chat with a Yahoo! "help" Bot...

(please wait for a Yahoo! agent to respond.)

Chat InformationYou are now chatting with Nette ...

David: Hello. I'm unable to access my email.

Nette: Hi! Welcome to our Yahoo! Mail Live Chat service. I'm glad you've joined us.

Nette: Thank you for providing us the details of your issue.

david: sure. I've tried rebooting and cache clearing on my end, didn't know if there is anything else I can do?

Nette: I understand that you are unable to access your account . Is that correct?

david: yes.

Nette: Thank you for the confirmation.

Nette: I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you. I would be happy to assist you resolve this issue.

david: It appears to be working now, thanks much

Nette: Are you getting any error messages when you try to log in?

david: yes, the ever increasing "temporary problem" page, but it lasted longer than usual. all is good now! thanks

Nette: Thank you for waiting. I'll be with you in just a moment.

Nette: As I understand, you are getting an error code 5 . Is that correct?

Nette: Error code 5 is a temporary issue.

David: I know what Error code 5 is, I used to work at Yahoo!

Nette: It is caused by having too many windows open at the same time.

Nette: Once you close all other windows and restart your browser, your account will be as good as new.

David: I only have one window open.

Nette: Would there be anything else I can assist you with?

David: This is a YAHOO problem not a DAVID problem. You know that, right?

Nette: To end this chat and take the quick survey, please click the word "Close" on the top right part of this chat window.

Nette: Thanks so much for visiting. Please be in touch any time. We're always here!

David: Hey, wait.

Nette: Bye.

Chat InformationThank you for contacting us. Have a great day.

David: Fuck you.

2008-04-22T07:46:00.002-05:00

A couple of people asked... so thought I'd tell you

Yes. I'm still a filmmaker (at heart always), but with the launch of Fzzz! Media, our new ad / creative agency, we've been very busy building a business, creating awareness and taking on new clients. I'm really enjoying going back to my marketing roots, my timing isn't always that great on decisions however, (see keyword "Recession"), but we have an awesome team and already an enviable client list including the Stoneleigh Hotel, Silverleaf Resorts, Clotheshorse Anonymous and possibly the Bobby Goldstein Productions empire (although I've probably jinxed that last one by typing it here.) In the meantime, we're looking for new clients (web design, video production, media placement, overall marketing and branding) to 'carbonate your marketing'TM. Also, please keep supporting Mike as he's hiking / shooting our third documentary on the American Discovery Trail.

2008-03-25T13:40:00.003-05:00

Separated at Birth = France's President Sarkozy +
"Kids in the Hall"s Kevin McDonald

2008-03-21T17:45:00.001-05:00

Hey, its my birthday, we're gonna party like...

2007-08-29T18:13:00.000-05:00

Barbi Twins Go Michael Vick On Fake Fur Producer

http://www.tmz.com/2007/08/29/barbi-twins-duped-by-the-ultimate-con-man/

I don't really need to say anything really, those of you that know... "know". ha.

-DM

2007-06-29T08:51:00.000-05:00

Cheap Trick - Expensive Gelato

After picking Margaret up from the airport last night, we trekked over to Eatzi's (part of our after-flight ritual thing). We did our usual, she went for cheeses and salads and I picked up wine.. er, wines... While checking out the red-dot area, I noticed a tallish, older man decked out head-to-toe in what I'd call "Vans Warped Tour" fashion. He stood out, especially when everyone else had the Banana Republic thing going on. So, I somewhat stalked him as he roamed around the center section and picked out various things: Olives, fish, wild rice, etc. I knew this guy. Was it Fred Schneider? No, although the B-52's were scheduled to be in Dallas... wait! The Van shoes, the checkerboard glasses. At that very moment I was embarrassed I just confused Rick with Fred. Yeah, it was Rick Nielsen. One of the world's ever best guitarists... ever. By now, I had stalked him to the 'last item you grab before check out' section. I acted as if I were on a mission for Italian ice cream and dug around the Talenti bin. Rick looked over and was apparently caught by my false infatuation with the dessert. He walked over and also started examining the ice cream. I was nervous, was he going to bust me for following him? Would he try to pick me up? .. "Is this shit good?" he asked. Wow! Rick N. just asked me my opinion on Gelato! Although I had never tried the brand, I continued my acting and replied, "Its very good shit. I'm getting the white raspberry chocolate."... Pause. "white raspberry?" he asked looking at me confused. "oh, white chocolate." I laughed pointing to the label. "Hmm. try some." he mumbled and walked off. Margaret came up and we checked out right next to Rick (I caught myself humming "Surrender"), he smiled and nodded and we parted ways to enjoy our Gelato; Us to our uptown home and Rick to his Melrose Hotel. .... Oh yeah, we kind of continued to stalk him.

2007-05-16T19:44:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I haven't written a post here in 5 months...

My apologies. I didn't even know I had to sign in under the Google thing. Wow. Please don't be jealous of Myspace now Google... I'll be back with warmed-over wit soon.

-DM

2006-12-08T10:10:00.000-06:00

People Who Create & Distribute Computer Viruses....

should be sprayed with Bear Mace and then given the death penalty

2006-10-09T13:21:00.000-05:00

Who Knew a Puppet Movie Would Be So Relevant?

Ok, I was watching “Team America” on Dish last night as the news broke about North Korea’s nuclear test. That was a bit too surreal. While Matt & Trey are genius, I’m afraid Kim Jong II has seen the puppet movie as well and not only has it made him quite angry, but probably gave him new ideas as well. I mean, come on… no one needs to be blowing up nuclear bombs anymore… we all know they work quite well. But when your country’s president has a first name of Kim… I guess you’re a bit insecure about your manhood. They not only thought they had the right to blow off 15-kilotrons but they wanted the U.N. to congratulate them. WTF? Then, the international spin went a bit crazier when Iran’s president said that N. Korea’s nuke test was America’s fault because we had embarrassed Kim Jong II in the press. If Ahmadinejad had really been on his game, he would have blamed the Republicans for secretly pushing Jong to test the bomb now to take media attention away from the Mark Foley news… either way, this just gives Iran even more incentive to move forward with their Nuclear program. With insane, insecure amateurs like this running around with nukes, we’re going to be in real trouble pretty soon.

(from 'Team America')

Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the changing of the worrd is inevitabre!
Lisa: I'm sorry, it's what?
Kim Jong Il: Inevit, inevitabre.
Lisa: One more time.
Kim Jong Il: [shouts] Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to change! Goddamnit, open your fucking ears!

2006-10-01T13:10:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about Obituaries ...

I wanted to write mine before I die... so.. .

Here’s mine:

Filmmaker and globetrotting philanthropist David M Burrows died tragically this morning as a Virgin Galactic shuttle was returning to Earth. Burrows was on day-seven of filming scenes with his crew for his upcoming remake of “Forbidden Planet”. During re-entry, the shuttle apparently hit an abandoned XM satellite, which had fallen out of orbit. Also killed on-board were actors Paris Hilton, Emma Watson and child-star, Angelina Jo-Pitt. Richard Branson Jr. was obviously emotional at an early morning press conference with the BBC, and the YouTube News Bureau. . “Burrows was not only one of this century’s greatest filmmakers, I also called him a friend… a brave and dear friend.” The Intergalactic Space Commission is further researching the accident and plans to file a final report next month. Burrows had a stunning career creating fifteen blockbuster films; five of which won Oscars for Best Picture and Soundtrack. Proceeds from his $34 billion charitable foundation have provided research responsible for finding cures for the AID’s virus, breast cancer and herpes. The foundation’s current projects include eliminating the Earth’s mosquito population and creating a genetically designed talking dog. Burrows was to announce the first successful birth of the talking Black Blabador this December. His last known public appearance was earlier this month, at a conference of the United Nations of Europe in London, where he simply told members. “You rock” where he then passed out. “He wasn’t a great drinker but he was a great man,” said a tearful Madonna from her wheelchair in Rome.

A private service is planned for the family and friends in both Rome and Dallas. A public ceremony with North American President Haley Joel Osment and Vice President Dane Cook is planned next Friday at the MySpace-Redskins Arena along with an official one-day cease-fire in Iraq. Memorial gifts may be text messaged from your phone to theBurrowsFoundation.org

Burrows leaves behind his still very lovely hot wife, two adopted children, five grandchildren, two dogs and one Sony robot butler named Owen.

Burrows was 94 years old.

2006-08-09T10:26:00.000-05:00

Dear Cynthia McKinney & Floyd Landis:

Frankly, I’m glad you both lost. I don’t say that because I’m white and one of you is black. Or that I can’t bike more than an hour without passing out and one of you can bike 24/7 across Europe. I really wish you both could have won… given you had a completely different position on politics, race, competition and life in general. You see, America is desperately in need of positive role models right now. People who can demonstrate how to not only advance themselves in society, but can lead the way for others to follow them and do it ethically and successfully from poverty to a thriving, contributing place in society.

But back to you both… Just moments ago, you had the nation’s attention during the Capitol police attack and the Tour de France. Given the situation you both found yourselves in, the press portrayed you both as borderline criminals. This is true yes, but you only reinforced that image as you lash out and reacted in such a negative, pass-the-buck, its-not-my-fault, and in one case reverse-racism. I was truly hoping you would take those moments on the front stage to do something inspiring or constructive… you know, one of those Stan from Southpark “what did we learn today” speeches. But alas, you both only used those precious media moments to escalate attention for yourselves and to blame everyone else on the planet for your own situation vs. being a real leader and facing the truth head-on yourselves. You see, not only are you both bad role models for the black community, athletes, students, fans and constituents, you are both Anti-Role Models. From blaming the Whitehouse for 9-11 to blaming white people for your primary loss, to making excuses for drugs and lying, you both have done more damage than anything constructive. Instead, you’ve shown us how to use lies, race, drugs and physical violence to advance yourself towards success. Hopefully, you’ll both stay out of the public eye for some time to come while we continue to search for responsible, positive examples for all Americans to follow. Right now for me, it’s Stan

2006-08-04T16:21:00.000-05:00

NPR Needs Better Music

I’m a big fan of several NPR radio shows: ‘Fresh Air’, ‘The World’, ‘The Treatment’, ‘All Things Considered’, etc. But while all these shows have great guests, information and basically pretty good hosts, the theme music for these shows fundamentally blows (and not just because they over-use the horn section). I mean, take ‘Fresh Air’ for example, the music for that show makes me feel like I’m in a stagnant, noisy traffic jam. The ‘Diane Rehm Show’ has equally grating music that seems to get worse the more I listen. “All Things Considered” did not obviously consider their theme music. But of course we always know some really sad story is coming when you hear the music played slowly, softly in a flat key. I know this seems like a small, pesty thing to bitch about, but having to hear excruciatingly bad executed music everyday brings it to the forefront. I mean, take the BBC’s ‘World Service’. Now that is some music that kicks ass! I even hum it when in the shower or in the car! It’s epic, catchy uplifting and powerful… It doesn’t sound like you downloaded it for free from Napster. But doesn’t the best music always seem to come from the U.K.? So why can’t NPR have some David Gray, Death Cab for Cutie track or perhaps some Nelly Furtado beats introducing a show? Better yet, NPR should have a contest for new theme music for each show! Then, I’d have nothing at all to complain about when it comes to NPR, other than that guy that sounds like he’s holding his nose whenever he says “… this is NPR… National Public Radio”… oh and the fact that they’re still too liberal.

2006-07-12T13:33:00.000-05:00

Forget About 'Snakes on a Plane'... but do watch out for the Mice

You've seen all the hype for the movie, but now... News Team Channel 5 KSDK (MO's finest news crew evidently) has hidden camera footage of mice living it up on an American Airlines plane at 33,000 feet. Not just one or two... but the Airline reportly found 18 mice on-board one plane. An investigator reports that up to 200 mice can live on one plane! Besides eating through stale pretzels and dozens of 'important wires', the mice even had made nests in the oxygen masks. Aside from sending flight attendants screaming down the aisle, the biggest fear is from an on-board fire which would devastate the flight, killing most all passangers ... including the mice. Have a great flight!

"in the event that mice run through the plane cabin, snakes will drop from above to catch them... oh and the captian has turned on the seatbelt sign..."

2006-06-26T16:07:00.000-05:00

W Hotel - whatever/whenever.... just not right now, ok?

This past weekend, Margaret and I indulged and decided to stay at Dallas' new mecca for style, food & overall chic-dom... the new W Hotel. We went to the W-bar on friday night and ran into some people we knew in the VIP room (after being held over at the curtain/door for quite some time). Once inside however, it looked just like the community room at many Post property uptown apartments. But hey, the drinks and music were good. SO, after some vodka, we impulsively booked a room and returned the next day to check in. I've always loved the W at other cities and could not wait to test Dallas'. 'Welcome to the W!' guys in short blue shirts eagerly echoed as we left the car with the valet and walked inside. The lobby is somewhat barren and almost closterphobic-ish for such a huge building. Blue LED lighting and mod-earth tone carpeting is abundant, as well as serious looking staff in dark jackets and Secret Service earpieces. They whisked our luggage away, we got a key and happily went upstairs. The 5th floor room was nice and modern if a bit dark & stark - but still cool. I mean, the entire bathroom was open to the sleeping area and the shower had an all-glass wall! Kinky! We changed clothes and decided to check out the pool... And that's when things began to go south. .. As soon as we arrived pool-side on the 16th floor, a typical Texas storm had blown in and furniture, towels and pillows were flying off the roof and into the pool. Security immediately closed off the area while we watched what looked like a scene from "the Day After Tomorrow" take place. "I have to request that you evacuate the area" said the W Secret Serviceman. SO, we went to the lobby and looked out the front door. "Please step away from that area" we were warned again. We then went to the 'living room' which is the open bar area where everyone was drinking and waiting out the storm. It quickly passed so we went outside and grabbed wings at Hooters. Back at the hotel (two hours later and the sky is now clear blue) we attempt to return to the pool we were so excited about enjoying. The doors were still closed and the security man told us to leave yet again saying he was 'monitoring the storm'. Ok, whatever.. but not whenever so far. We returned to the bar to get a drink and take it with us to the room. The white wines were not yet chilled. ok.. fine, so after compromising with a so-so merlot.. we left... But not yet! "No drinks are allowed outside this area" we were strictly warned because of the TABC. So we stayed and drank as the electricity went out. and back on... and out again. We left the wine and decided to go to the room but only one elevator was working and we were told to 'please use the stairs'. We waited for the one elevator for about 5 mins. while listening to a New Orleans guest complain to us about his bad "W" experience. (Note: if someone from NoLa is complaining about amenities, things must be bad!). Finally upstairs, we noticed the airconditoner would not shut off. Noticing we did not pack our winterwear, we called downstairs but no one came upstairs to fix it. Instead, I pulled a McIver and I stuffed the vent with a towel and everything was somewhat fine. THEN, the fire alarm went off and a voice came over saying 'please evactuate the building immediately'. oh great. We got dressed and started to leave when I thought I should call the front desk just to make sure. "Hello Whatever / Whenever! How may I help you!".. um.. yeah, the fire alarm ... is that for real? Do we really need to evacuate? "What fire alarm?" she asked. "um, thanks". I said and hung up. ... (end scene) .. SO, next morning after a pretty good sleep, we ordered breakfast. or at least we thought we ordered breakfast. After half a dozen phone calls back and forth to 'whatever/whenever' and 90 mins later, we got our breakfast - well, almost. Just so you know, $45. @ the W gets you grits, coffee, one stale danish, and some sausage. Enjoy! During breakfast, our phone began ringing but no one was ever on the other end. After like the 5th call, Margaret asked me to call the front desk to see what was up. I giggled at the thought of their upcoming response. They of course, had no idea(**). The best part of the stay was Bliss - the full spa on the 16th floor. If it wasnt for that experience, we may have had a nervous breakdown. At check out, we requested a discount for the host of unscheduled experiences but we were firmly denied a discount from the $309 room. We even asked for a free pass to the Ghost Bar but was told they would not be able to accomadate our request. Hey, are we even welcome back to the hotel? hey WHATEVER! WHENEVER!

Something "W" does not stand for... 'wow'

(**) I should mention here that we spent (hotel, bar, spa, food, tips, etc.) almost $1,000 on this short weekend stay and no one, repeat, NO ONE - even from Starwood Hotels contacted us about my complaint(s).

2006-06-21T22:50:00.000-05:00

"America's Got Talent"... well.. not really

It seems that we not only need a national show to find the next big singer, but also one to find the best juggler, magician, ventriloquist, elderly rapper, puppeteer and dog trainer. In the vacuum of entertainment we apparently have, NBC has set out to fill that with a ... well, a talent show. And boy, it was a two-hour event tonight with the most network-backed advertising of any other show. It was... well, cute for a while. It was also a bit, well. .. cheeky. The British guy was nicer than Simon Scowl. And Brandy is refreshing and cute... but Hasselhoff? Is he actually drunk or on muscle relaxers? "oh yeah, you're fourteen" he says in a creepy, dead stare. Myspace has nothing to worry about net pedophiles with him on TV. Oh well, that's where entertainment is going and I suppose it's not all that bad. At least it gets the family together making costumes, listening to Prince and practicing in the garage on their new dance moves.

ABC should respond with a new fall show... "America Has Leadership" and we could pick the next President and congress. Now that would be some fricken entertainment and maybe solve some problems along the way...

"I'm sorry Mr. President, but Piers just buzzed you off."

2006-06-06T22:50:00.000-05:00

Revelation: We made it past 6/6/06

Well, it looks like we made it (as Barry Manilow would say). The day of evil is over and here are the beastly highlights of the day...

(1) Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) quietly celebrated his birthday

(2) Mortgage interest rates hit 6.66%

(3) Granny didn't go outside today since her birthday is on 6/6/06 and she turned 66 and was born 6lbs, 6oz @ 6am. Her last name interestingly is 'dumas'.

(4) Scientists at Harvard announced they are actively working to clone humans

(5) Hell, Michigan throws a party

but the most frightening of all ...

(6) Ann Coulter's new book is out

"

2006-06-03T22:28:00.000-05:00

Harley Caught David Blaine and Mavs Beat the Suns!

Double breaking news today people! Mav vs Suns! 102 to 93! Oh yeah, we'll be in the NBA Finals for the 1st time! Miami get ready! And Harley celebrated by catching earlier today.... David Blaine (the mouse). At about 4am this morning. Lots of barking, growling and banging of furniture. she was very proud of herself as was I. way to go Harley... you and Dirk KICk ASs!

Not really Harley, not really me and not really the mouse... but you get the idea here...

2006-06-01T15:16:00.000-05:00

Mexicans and chips

I'm all about a tasty, salted chip with salsa... but hold on... today on Fox News, VeriChip's Chairman announced a proposal to tag Mexican immigrant workers with a microchip embedded under their skin... all because we need to "know who is in our country and why they are here". Oh great. My SUV already has one of the devilish devices for tollways and airports. Also, Harley and Baily (our two dogs) have implanted chips as well. (talk about your mark of the beast) Technically, the government could use remote sensors to better know where my dogs and car are at any one moment. Imagine once we all have to have one of those.. That will be the end of freedom in America. and perhaps move us towards the end of other things as well. Now is the time to stop this.................................................................................................. You can voice your disdain against pending legislature of the National ID act here.

"Yes Mr. President. We've tracked DM, his Landrover, the jack russell and the black lab to a 7-11 in North Dallas where they have purchased a 12-pack of Miller Light and a bag of Beggin Strips"

2006-05-22T20:09:00.000-05:00

The Rodent Magic of David Blaine...

For over four months, Margaret and I have heard this little scurrying, shuffling and gnawing a few times a week sometime between 3:00 - 5:00AM. I didn't think too much about it as our house is over 85 years old and completely haunted (that'll be another post in the near future), but once entire pieces of French soap went missing, I had to take action. Catching a mouse is suppose to be easy. So, I bought some traps and set them out a few weeks ago... nothing. In fact, one morning I walked into the bathroom to find my special cheese/peanutbutter/Frito bait completely GONE - with the trap still open. Oh yeah, he's good. He can also make noise anywhere in the room but once the lights are on, he completely disappears - into a wall? a drawer? Electric outlet? my boxers? Who knows but becase of his magical powers, he has earned the name of David Blaine. Margaret awoke the other night screaming like something out of a Stephen King movie only to find Mr. Blaine atop my amoire with a paperclip in his mouth. He quickly vanished as usual - into thin air. So, I brought up Harley. Harley will find the elusive rodent. No, she sniffed around for half an hour then ... all three of us fell asleep - except for 'david'... we all awoke to more missing cheese/peanutbutter/fritos... and a large chunk of soap missing.

Smart mice perfer Smart Cars...

2006-05-17T19:32:00.000-05:00

Just a shitty review of my day...

This has got to be one of the worst days of my life. I shouldn’t even say that because as soon as I do… the Universe has this way of saying … “Really? Ya think so huh? Well try on THIS day asshole!” So, I’ll say it’s in the top 3% of worst days. Anyway, it went like this:

1) Overslept
2) Bulldozer shows up to dig up yard, sprinkler system and replace gas line SURPRISE and I can’t get them to reschedule the dig.
3) Out of coffee
4) Conference call at 9:00am – phone dies
5) Conference call at 9:15am – next door construction crew starts cutting CONCERETE (this sound is louder than sitting on a plane on the last row during take off) – sound continues until FOUR PM.
6) Mortgage broker calls to say the lender – after 65 days of processing - has denied our refinance loan
7) Still out of coffee
8) Harley gets stung by a bee outside
9) DVDs I order for Mike’s documentary ($3,099 worth mind you) are wrong copy and a screening takes place this weekend during Trail Days. Our big weekend to make a sale. Scramble to get Doug to burn new DVD’s to FedEx.
10) Trying to dressed quickly, my toe catches a small hole in my jeans and completely rips them
11) Go online to chase to pay some bills, passcode locked up and don’t have time / patience to go through the unbelievably long process of a new one
12) Postman delivers special delivery for signature: What is it? Why a foreclosure from our bank of course.
13) Can’t leave the house as bulldozer is now parked in my driveway and digging a twelve foot hole in neighbor’s yard
14) Order Pizza – have no money – can’t write a check when delivery comes. I start to cry – they let me write a check.
15) Harley is ok – but grumpy and barking at Bailey.
16) Air-conditioner won’t come on downstairs – find out – compressor is BLOWN.
17) Finally get out of driveway to run errands – forget check to deposit. Go back to bank – no money in ATM (funds on hold).
18) Purchase three bottles of wine
19) Oh and Andy Dick emailed me about something – that wasn’t bad, but random – so I thought it mentioned a mention
20) Type blog and get wasted.

2006-04-30T23:18:00.000-05:00

I had only been in Dallas a couple of hours on Friday – in from spending a week in NYC (working on top secret project we’ll just call “project x” and admittedly partying too much) when I learned I needed to find my tux and fly to DC for the annual White House Correspondents Dinner at the Washington Hilton. It’s the political ‘Oscars’ if you will… or maybe the political Prom… any way, those government people know how to party. I shot some interviews for the Creative Coalition at their poolside reception with pitches about federal arts funding and such with the president - Joey (pants) Pantoliano, nice pleasantries with the beautiful Patricia Clarkson, education issues via CSI’s Hill Harper, thoughtful discussion with the oh so talented Jeffery Wright and white bread comments from the ever so tactful Ann Coulter. I lied and told Ann I was a Republican. “Oh, well why didn’t you say so! Let’s get a cocktail!” she gushed. (no joke) After running out of battery juice and hanging out to smoke with Valerie Plame, I ran upstairs to watch the event 12 stories above the ballroom (since I had no last minute ticket - dammit). The dinner went as I expected. I was surprised by the humor and timing of the double Bush team and disappointed with the heavy-handed lameness of Colbert. Oh well, at least it wasn’t Cedric the Entertainer again. Cheesecake, coffee, moderate clapping then goodnight and good luck…

But wait! This is where it got really good. After the dinner was the dueling press after parties, hosted by Reuters and Bloomberg News. (Reuters cheated as they were picking people up at the hotel in shuttle vans) but we decided to trot over to the Macedonia Embassy (but with the funky lights, fog machines and music remixes from Bubba Sparxxx and the Ying Yang twins, it felt more like the Brazilian Embassy.) The line just to get in was 30 mins long. Besides, parties that are hard to find and get into are the best. Once in, the place was way too crowded with lobbyists, celebrities, hot interns and old TV anchors. It will probably be the only time you would ever see Wolf Blitzer standing quietly in a tux next to Ludicrious (I have no idea how to spell it) and Ann Coulter. As the night poured on and the Indonesian drummer kept banging to pre-mix urban sounds, two girls passed out cold, several glasses were broken, chicks were tossing off $700 Jimmy Choos to dance with some high-end Latin dudes and then, Stephen Colbert passed by me with a small entourage as we both smiled at each other and perfectly mouthed the words to each other of “Drop it like it’s hot” – I thought the ‘so-realness’ (I hereby copyright that word CNN!) had passed until I saw a girl in the “smoker’s only” corner removing Tucker Carlson’s bow tie. I pointed and laughed thinking now that’s the Situation Room. Later, when I snuck out (passing CNN’s older, fat, bald guy that always kinda smiles?) and seeing Valerie Plame yet again, this time able to say ‘hi’ and ‘goodnight’ like we were new FFL, my cell phone rang and my wife was a bit upset as I was out partying at 2:10am in a remote city for the 3rd time this week. Promising I wouldn’t over-drink, I grabbed Tucker and asked him to ‘report’ how boringly sober I was. He was highly convincing and had a nice convo with Margaret. So nice in fact, they kept laughing and talking and I had to finally ask for my phone back. But many thanks Tucker, I owe you one.

anyone can attend the dinner... its access to the Bloomberg afterparty that shows what political power you have

2006-04-22T12:04:00.000-05:00

The Whitehouse Needs More Sleep!

Apparently, the folks at the Whitehouse need more sleep. All these invasions, upcoming wars, escalating oil prices, hurricanes, illegal immigrants and soaring debts can really take it out of you....

"Ok, read China trade report, umm, CNN press conference, order lunch, grilled Halibut...ton.. ..Halliburton . ..Halli..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz "

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hmm meeting at State Department at 11:00am, take
President Hu out for Barbeque... get my nails .. done.. at.. threeee..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Uh, 1:00pm.. brush teeth ...play with Barney... threaten Iran... uh, fly to Ranch umm.. Ranch ..dip.. chips...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

2006-03-08T09:38:00.000-06:00

Thanks to those (pre)Retirement Funds!

I felt really guilty and bad about taking (er, rather borrowing) $30,000 from our 401(k) accounts last month. I mean, that's supposed to be there for when you're like 70 or something... somewhere near the year 2041 when money is worthless and we have to bike everywhere with solar panels on our backs. But, alas - I had to do it to keep things afloat for my business and home expenses. But NOW, the U.S. Treasury has decided America is also reaching a really bad cash crunch, so congress today is 'borrowing' from the civil service pension fund. Hey! I'm not the only one! And the amount they are taking out is more than mine to - $63,000,000,000 billion. WoW! That's like me 'borrowing' my $30,000 every single hour of a typical work day -- every single day - for over 82 years! Kick ass! Now I don't feel so bad. Hell, I may not even pay the 30K back to my 401(k), I'm sure the government won't pay theirs.

(circa 2041) "Peddle faster! The deadly ion-atomic cloud is catching up!"

2006-02-01T17:05:00.000-06:00

The Last Year of the (Robo) Dog

Sure its the year of the dog in China, but in Japan, Sony has snubbed all us Aibo robotic dog owners. Over 150,000 owners got word today Sony has pulled the plug on production of the $2K electronic pet. Now I'm really pissed. This is the second time Sony has let me down. First Sony cancelled their creative charity division AllStarCharity.com (which I helped in part to handle marketing and PR). The group raised hundreds of thousands of dollars through auctions of Sony Studio celebrity stuff. But now, they've dissed a member of my family. Shame, shame Sony. What's next? Are you coming to take my PS2?

I wonder if PETA would be interested in helping me sue Sony and to start PETR (People for the Ethical Treatment of Robots)?

2006-01-31T14:07:00.000-06:00

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World

I have to give Albert Brooks kudos for having the esferas do touro* (as K-FED would say) to make a film about laughing at/with/beside/nervously the Muslim culture. I havent seen it yet, but I'm very curious now... It appears there is no humor in the Islamic world when it comes to any topic about Islam itself. Take the Danish cartoon for example (see below). Its not even a good cartoon - I don't really even get myself. But the Muslims are furiously mad about it. Calling for a jihad, closing embassies and protesting by the 10's of thousands. Now, I'm not sure but I think these people are just looking for a reason to fight. We're talking about a cartoon for Muhammad's sake! These are the same people that call America 'the land of Satan' but they're pissed about a cartoon(?). This should worry everyone because if a cartoon (without even a witty caption I might add) is driving this kind of global Muslim anger, I'm pretty worried about what's yet to come from this growing and dangerous religion... I just hope they don't bomb us because of Albert Brooks...

* Bull's Balls

The offending 'cartoon'. I have some suggested captions. You may choose your own.

1) "oh, I feel an immense headache coming on!"
2) "sniff, sniff... do you smell something burning?"
3) "What a long day .... I'm ready to blow this place!"
4) "Right, sure. I have a 'bomb in my hair'! Ha Ha. Like I'm gonna fall for that joke again!"

2006-01-29T13:59:00.000-06:00

The Art of Popo Zao

In tribute to Kfed's new release, please enjoy these lyrics...

In Portuguese it means bring your ass
On the floor and move it real fast
I wanna see your kitty and a little bitta titty
Wanna know where I go when I'm in your city
Girl, don't you worry about all the dough
Cuz a cat is coming straight outta the know
Ready rock them shows all the ...
Bring that Brazil booty on the floor
Up, down, all around
Work that shit to this funky sound
Wanna see what I'm gonna owe
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao

Its probably not just chance that K-Fed Banc Corp shares and KFED the 'artist' shares are both tracking south...

2006-01-23T13:20:00.000-06:00

Alexa's Big Phat Greek Wedding

The other night I ran into Alexa Conomos at ZaZa Hotel bar with some about-to-be bridesmaids in tow. They were all drinking (as was I) and we hugged and chatted. She had some t-shirt on with text I can't remember now what it said. I hope I didnt try to kiss her, as I can't remember that either. Channel 8 covered the post wedding highlights here... .. Weeks before Alexa got married, she came to our house and did a story about me, commuting and my little Barking Harley Studio... she even drank my coffee and played with Harley! :D (ha!) anyway, more of that here...

ah... Alexa, we'll always have that channel 8 news & traffic story, we always will...

2006-01-16T10:27:00.000-06:00

Scientology Meets Studio 54

I learned about 'the beautiful room' from "D" magazine and just a few days later, read more about this elusive/exclusive, very Dallas oriented culture-cult. It appears to be an online dating service cult meets private VIP party you 'audition' for online. Yet, no one knows anything about it... why, because everyone gets rejected. We even sent in some very hot pics of an 20 year old blonde female. I guess this shows just how shallow our culture has become... and how desperate to fit into that Uptown shallowness I've become (ha)... I got my polite, yet to-the-point rejection letter today...

----------------------------------------------

Dear David,

We appreciate your interest in The Beautiful Room. Unfortunately, your submission did not meet one or more of the membership criteria and The Beautiful Room will not be able to extend an invitation for membership to you. Please understand that the qualification process is completely confidential and we are unable to release specific information concerning your application.

Thank you so much for your time.

Be beautiful,
The Beautiful Room
---------------------------------------------------------------------

The letter ends with the command 'be beautiful'... and yet, I can't be... so sad. so sad...

2006-01-10T15:46:00.000-06:00

Elmo Goes 50-cent on Toddlers

A sad day in Sesame Street history happened in Dallas last week when 16-month old Miranda was verbally assaulted by Elmo with the phrase "who wants to die?". "Potty Time with Elmo" apparently turned into Potty Mouth Elmo when 20+ books with the accidently placed message got into stores... I'm going to Target and see if I can find one. I'll also be looking for Cookie Monster to ask "where my biotches at!?", Big Bird to inquire "Who's your daddy?" and the Count to simply proclaim .. "you fu@king suck!"

well... I won't even begin to explore that things you could do with this book

2006-01-03T11:46:00.000-06:00

When ICONS Go Bad

When I was in college, I rebelled - like we all do - however I rebelled by becoming a College Republican (much to my Texas Democrat family's consternation). I not only became a C.R., I ran for president of the vast membership at Baylor – my family continued to freak. So, to finish off my parents anguish, I ran for and won the title of chairman for the College Republican's of Texas - WHOO HOO!. Also, at that time, Jack Abramoff (conservative political activist and lobbyist) was my leader, my coach, my mentor who I wanted to grow up and be just like – rich, powerful and a chick-magnet (I’m being serious here). He came to Texas and wined and dined me. We went golfing, smoked cigars and enjoyed carousing around Austin. Jack told me I could become a powerful political entity, run for office and have whatever I wanted – Jack told me a lot of things. Somehow (thank god) all the glitter and shiny-ness wore off and I lost interest in the political world my senior year.

Fast forward a few years: Early this morning, my 1st text message was from CNN – "Abramoff to plead guilty to fraud, other charges". I read it and went back to work on projects and thought to myself how glad I am to be a political independent who is much more selective of who he chooses to vote for and who he looks to for mentoring.

Happy New Year and choose your icons wisely.

CNN: Abramoff pleads guilty to contributing to the delinquency of my college major

2006-01-02T00:02:00.000-06:00

NEVER take your dog to "Man's Best Friend"

Bailey (my 18-month old black lab) stayed during the Christmas holidays at the Grand Prairie Man's Best Friend kennel/training facility. The mere fact that they had room at the last min. should have been a red flag to me - but I took him there anyway since I was rushed for a solution. 1st off, they lost our reservation for Bailey. 2nd, They have tons of rules, things to sign off on (more than I've ever seen for any kennel - and I've seen lots) and most of the area is not allowed to enter for pet owners - THAT worried me also. Then when I come to pick him up 5 days later, they can't find him. I'm not allowed to go back into the facility to help search either - now I'm really fucking freaking out. When they DO find him and bring him out, he's coughing, shaking and has no energy. I ask if a vet examined him - they tell me there IS NO VET. SO I ask questions (while I become more angry), they tell me he 'looks fine' and whatever he has 'he didn't pick it up at there place' (yeah right). In fact, they told me to give him cough syrup and forget about it.... NOW my dog's on deaths' door and I'm ready to sue the living fuck out of these bastard evil people.

NEVER take your dog to Man's Best Friend kennels for boarding or training NEVER EVER... They don't give a SHIT about animals - just money.

-dm

2005-12-08T16:08:00.000-06:00

A KENNEDY SHOOTING IN WASHINGTON D.C.!!

Well... it was actually a video shoot on the red carpet during the lifetime achievment awards at he Kennedy Center... sorry for being all National Enquirer there. Last Sunday morning (at 2:00AM actually) I finalized last min. flight plans to Reagan National for a 6:00AM flight. ugh... no sleep and no charged camera batteries. But all worked out, besides, D.C. is a great city to visit - anytime. and the opportunity to hit the red carpet to snag interviews with Robert Redford, Tina Turner, Queen Latifa, Tony Bennet, Bo Derek and even Kid Rock should never be missed. I arrived too late to get press passes, so naturally I do what any other professional would do - panic. I asked a nearby Secret Service agent for help and amazingly, he did. We walked up the red carpet, past all the tight security and then backstage! I told them thanks but I'm sure CBS did not want me and my camera on-stage... I was then escorted out and placed towards the front on the red carpet right between CNN and ExtraTV... rock on! Angie showed up shortly thereafter looking fabulous and the interviews went pretty fast. here are the highlights>>>>>>> Sen. Kerry came by but wouldnt do interviews (he just smiled and kept buttoning and unbuttoning his jacket).. Bush and Laura snuck in through the underground tunnel. .. Oprah (who used the phrase "cool-ass" like 9 times) , Robert Redford (who looked tense and uncomfortable), Tony Bennett (relaxed and happy with some very old, expensive scotch on his breath), Queen Latifah (who kept staying and talking and spinning around - she won the 'most fun award'), Mary Louise-Parker (who is hot and very nice), Tina Turner who looks as great as she did 20 years ago, Bo Derek who looked better 20 years ago and best of all... Kid Rock (who was looking for the bar so I pointed him in the direction of Tony Bennett).

The Kennedy Awards airs on CBS DEC 27th and the interviews we shot airs on Grin & Barrett in two weeks - Sunday 11:30am on NBC/KXAS.

Welcome to the Whitehouse. Hey! Wanna see my new XBOX 360?

2005-11-09T09:16:00.000-06:00

"Get French or Die Tryin"...

What the Merlot is going on over in France? The violence of U.S. gangs and films like 50 Cent's don't hold a candle to current BBC news... France: now on day 14 of burning more cars than NASCAR has done in all of history. Apparently getting a job, advancing your career and making something of yourself starts with destroying your own neighborhood first! What is up with these peeps? Perhaps they saw all the attention New Orleans recieved in terms of media, 'federal aid' (that's a new oxymoron btw) and charity funding. Maybe - since the kids in the suburubs are so bored - they thought they'd create they're own national diaster and then they could instantly have a job and be a proud citizen! I say fine. Round them up by the thousands, equip them with the tools to clean, rebuild, restore and create their own life in the French suburbs. France is going to have to provide funding for clean up anyway - and if I messed up my room at home, I always had to clean it. Maybe in this way, they can create their own culture within France and finally have a society of their own where they can be responsible and proud instead of destroying it.

"oh no... tell the valet I have a burning Peugeot, not Citron"

2005-11-06T20:03:00.000-06:00

West Wing Flys Left Wing...

NBC treaded into dangerous waters by blurring reality and fiction yet one more pixel. Tonight's episode of the "West Wing" starring hot & spicy Jimmy Smits as the latin Texas liberal - Matt Santos (that's a cool name huh?) vs. the ugly, old, grumpy white guy - Alan Alda as Arnie Vinick (that name, which should remind you of your old, polish uncle who sexually molested you at age 5 at the family picnic). The only thing NBC's "please watch us! We're cooler than the Comedy Channel - really!" attempt did tonight was galvanize the red and blue states deeper into their out-dated ideals while taking a shot at gathering as many Cheeto-eating couch potatos for the liberal side it can for '08. Believe me! I'm open-minded when it comes to creative programming and I'm not even a hard-core Republican anymore (see my future post about being a libertarian), but I think tonight's broadcast is both irresponsible as well as unethical. NBC should be ashamed of its over-the-top attempt at dismantling the current administration in a very slick, contrived and unfair manner. Shame on you NBC... shame. At this rate anyhow, Jimmy Smits appears to be the Democratic frontrunner for '08.

"Hola! Two burritos in every pot!"

2005-11-06T10:53:00.000-06:00

Be Careful What You Post on the Web...

I got into a discussion on a Yahoo! property about the French riots today. After posting some info in regards to the amount of Muslims in the world (just over 1 billion) and hypothectically saying that 5% *could* be considered 'radical Islamists' which would equal 50,000,000 (fifty million) people with a radical, violent tendency towards the world... I was denied service for several hours to all of Yahoo! services. So, where in the world are we headed in terms of freedom of speech and growing violence? I predict (and rather quickly) we are headed in two very unwelcome directions...

2005-11-02T17:46:00.000-06:00

I Hate Daylight Savings Time Change...

And Who the "F" thought this up? I've missed going for my bike ride 4 days in a row since sundown comes one minute earlier each day and then *bam* now its dark by 5:15pm. Can't we just leave the clocks on "summertime" all year? Mother nature has her own way of making it darker and lighter throughout the year as it is - but as we mess with everything else from DNA to clouds, I suppose we have to feel we 'control' time somehow. Next year, at least I get 4 extra weeks of daylight - so I'm making my workout schedule now.

BRIGHT IDEA.........
DoE estimated DST could save the U.S. as much as 300,000 barrels of oil per month - that's a lot of 60w bulbs not turned on

2005-10-30T14:18:00.000-06:00

Ask Your Doctor if Bellatrix is right for you...

Well, it may sound like a new drug for something to get your blood pressure down or your penis up, but it's really just my new favorite classical music track I found on iTunes radio - Mostly Classical. With all the unwelcome stress in my life, I've returned to listening to the calming, distinguished stuff of Bach and Vivaldi. Cool thing is that classical music is cool and hip. yea! I've also found some fresh new classical fusion on myspace being written and performed by bands like Neo Camerata (from Dallas and the ONLY classical group that could play at TREES) and Apocalyptica (from Finland) also Sonus Quartet with 3 hot chicks and 1 lucky guy - oh, also check out 4StringDreams... these bands are on the cutting edge of performance and art as far as I'm concerned.

"BELLATRIX... now available without a prescription"

2005-10-23T14:07:00.000-05:00

Me and Michael are huge in Canada

Finally, our Sundance interviews will be airing tonight on Canada's Star TV! (a bit like a cross between E! and the Style Channel here in the U.S.) but alas... even with Free Trade and NAFTA ... we'll not get to see it. The half-hour program features Mike Daniel (my Appalachian Trail doc homey) and myself as we suffer through the bitter-cold tempetures of Park City, Utah, drinking Red Bull and vodka while chatting it up with celebrities about their new films. Some highlights include from this week's release "Thumbsucker" - Keanu Reeves, Tilda Swinton, and Benjamin Bratt. "Upside of Anger" with Kevin Costner, Evan Rachel Wood (who asked me to go skiing with her.) and Keri Russell. Also from the film "Loverboy", Kevin Bacon (I'm now just ONE degree away!), Kyra Sedgwick and Marisa Tomei. Also we snagged David Schwimmer, Dick Cavett and Steve Buscemi. So, if you're in the great white north, tune in tonight at 9:30PM ET. And to further prove I'm no celebrity and I must go now... my wife is nagging me to clean my office...

(only in Canada) I'll have my agent call your agent, eh?

2005-10-20T15:27:00.000-05:00

"My Name is (Ronnie) Earle"...

Mr. Earl (only in Texas can your 1st name also be your last name) must be pretty happy today. DeLay (after some De-lay) has been arrested, photographed and fingerprinted and is now out on $10K bail. What may also be coming is that fact that Earle has no real evidence to prove DeLay did anything illegal. So why after you tell the press that there’s no evidence, you can then go and arrest someone? Looks like abuse of power may be the next thing to go down for the prosecutor. Actually, the real problem here is partisan politics and politicians taking more money from special interests vs. ordinary citizens. Oh well, Earle better start making his good karma list this weekend.

2005-10-13T13:15:00.000-05:00

Madonna "Hung Up" on David LaChapelle

My friends are going to think I'm either British or gay or both for reporting this... however, Madonna's new album comes out in a few weeks. LaChapelle was to direct her music video for the single "Hung Up" with some documentary stylistic RIZE themes. She said "no" and sent him to his room without dinner. Apparently, it was just creative differences... they're still friends. I'd hate to think David is pissing off all these blonde divas (Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson, Madonna, etc.) David, I know what rejection feels like, we need to do a project together... call me.

my favorite commercial

2005-10-10T10:01:00.000-05:00

Starting Over...

It appears you're never too old, too smart or too anything to be forced to start over. Just when you think you've got life down, it decides to get you down. I've decided to learn from these gross misstakes and naviety and make my life bigger and better against all odds - by starting over. I suppose simply waking up to a new day is some form of starting over. Well... today, I'm starting over - but in a much, much more major way.

2005-09-30T23:03:00.000-05:00

I'm actually scared...

Rarely does anything truly scare me. But this time I'm afraid - afraid of something invisible, which I can’t fully sense or control. Depression for me is a silent foe I never discuss with anyone but more than frequently have to deal with. For the most part, I put it on par with allergies and taxes - something always close and persistent, but manageable. But this time and for several weeks, it has been growing and even skewing my reality; my dreams and waking hours; this, which has never happened before. I'm missing not only hours from my being and memory but a few times, entire days of my life. I had a terrible dream two weeks ago perhaps. It was so real and vivid and so horrible, I only wanted to tell about it once. I had to share it with someone who understood dreams and has provided me somewhat of an interpretation in the past. Over the phone, the response to this was chilling and made me frightened and feel empty as from the moment I awoke from it. She cried as she told me 'that's the worst dream to have'. "...You’re on the verge of horrible misery and utter despair and no hope for happiness." I think, I'm already there.........

2005-09-21T23:08:00.000-05:00

Since I'm in a pissy mood and drinking aggressively...

Here's a list of things I hate:

1) Cellular directory assistance. $2.50 PER call and they don't have to get it right. Did you know that? (so try something different) Just because of that policy, I call back everytime (right or wrong) to get a refund.

2) Skulls on eVeRytHinG. WTF? Is it Halloween or something? Who came up with putting dead human remains on Gucci bags and Prada t-shirts anyway? They should be shot, killed and have their skull put on something.

3) Celebs with Weird Beliefs. Really, we don't care if you eat toads for breakfast and clean yourself out with a Waterpik filled with holy water and then worship the lost 13th prophet of Soddom. We don't care and we don't want to hear about it ok? Get over yourself.

4) Bad Drivers. You cannot drive, you don't understand road rules, you're busy on the cell phone - so, please buy a bus pass for the month.

5) Hurricanes. Geezz! We are F*(&^%! sick of Hurricanes ok??! Please stop them somebody. Even the weather guys have even run out of names this year for FEMA sake! Oh, and I'm sure the AntiChrist's daughters will be named Rita and Katrina.

6) Employees with Attitude @ Taco Bell. or employees with attitudes that work in front of the public AnYwHeRe. Hey, it dosent hurt to be somewhat nice, it makes the day go by faster, you're happy, we're happy - besides you may get a tip. And if you're reading this Shaniqua from Taco Bell # 237, you're not anything special to begin with (and your hair looks like a Racoon took a shit in it) - so get overyourself.com

ok, I feel better. Sorry about that.

Don't get mad at me for listing things I hate. Somebody made a movie about their list... and it had TEN things!

2005-09-19T15:59:00.000-05:00

Eleven Point Two Million Dollars Later...

Margaret and I attended a good friend's surprise b-day party saturday night. When we arrived, I was still on the phone talking to Angie (who was still in LA) about her securing several quick, last-minute interviews for our show with Paris Hilton, Jeremy Piven and Lindsay Lohan (interesting mix, huh?. I hung up and wandered past the garage where I found an '04 Lamborghini Gallardo sitting restlessly all alone - I felt so Ferris Bueller. However, I refrained from stealing a bottle of Bollinger Brut and taking it for a test drive. But my envy went up to level Orange and was about to go even higher. ----------- Enter the caterering staff. ------- Now, usually you go to these parties to have fun but to also network and pitch some business ideas and see if you can get various people interested and possibly... some cash. I totally missed this one however. As I spent time talking to guests - my wife spent time talking to - the staff. When we met up to finally depart for the evening, we exchanged stories about who we talked to, met, etc. She then told me the young man (delivering bruschetta styled Hor'dourves around) had causally told her he was just the recipient of $11.2 million the day before - direct deposited into his personal checking account. "wait, then what the f*ck is doing serving bruschetta??!" I asked. She said they talked more and he was trying to figure out what to do with the money his uncle (a Westin Hotel heir) had left him. "and you didn't come to find me? to introduce us??!" I asked in desperation. "oh, no. I didn't even think about that. He was delightful though". she wanders off in thought and drives on. At this moment, I just stare out the window speechless, my production company in need of $60K, my film project in need of much more and my education foundation in need of $200K... I watch my hand just out the car window, I stare at the full moon, letting the wind effortlessly lift my palm as I feel my heart sink...

While some people worry about what do to with $11mil, I worry about how I'm going to gas up my Freelander...

2005-09-18T12:44:00.000-05:00

I Knew My Dogs Made TO-DO Lists

As busy as these two canines are, they can't do all of those tasks without some organization. I found Bailey's (the black lab) TO-DO list on a half-chewed, brown paper bag near the back door. Oh sure, it was pretty hard to read his scribble and he had a ton of spelling errors - but I fixed those - so here it is...

Bailey’s TO DO List for
Sunday, September 18, 2005

- Chew on new rawhide
- Chase squirrels
- Dig up Azalea bush
- Bring clods of dirt into kitchen
- Knock over cement statue
- Take a dump on the driveway
- Nap
- Bark
- Chase squirrels
- Dig hole near patio
- Take a dump on patio near back door
- Find and eat bagel I buried last Thursday
- Chew on toy bear and pull out stuffing
- Eat 4 milk bones
- Tip over water bowl in kitchen

2005-09-17T10:07:00.000-05:00

Time to GRIN & BARRETT!

Ok, saturday morning, 2nd... oh ok, 3rd cup of coffee and I'm in a panic attack as I sit in my CK t-shirt, worn Hurley shorts along with severe bed-head combing through endless email. We have our tv show back on the air - WFAA - in 3 weeks - three weeks - tres semanas - trois semaines! ... and we have so much more work to do. Shoot commercials (to include in the show), write new segments, do voice-overs, schedule new segments to shoot, select music, edit the show.. AAAAAHHHHHH! While I'm having a nervous breakdown, Angie's in LA for the Emmy's along with doing a few interviews with some of the Desperate Housewives cast, comedian Judy Tenuta, and some other surprise guests. ok, I feel better just sharing it with you all. No, not really, I need another cup of coffee and a shower and a xanax.

"... on the air again, just can't wait to get on the air again.."
GRIN & BARRETT returns to WFAA/ABC Sunday's @ 12:00Noon OCT 9th. Be there.

2005-09-09T18:38:00.000-05:00

I did not want to end my week's blog on a downer...

...you know, talking smack about people that have screwed me over and such... right? So, here it is. An incredible recipe anyone should try at least once in their lifetime. Have a great weekend....

Chicken Breast in Mole Rojo From Oaxaca
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cooked
1 tablespoon lard or vegetable oil
5 tablespoons red or brown mole paste (such as the Doña Maria brand)
1 cup chicken stock
2 ounces Mexican chocolate (optional)
1 tablespoon sesame seeds (toasted, if you wish)

Cover chicken breasts in water and simmer until they turn white, about 20 minutes. Remove and set aside. Heat the lard or vegetable oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the mole paste and fry for 4 minutes, stirring constantly, to release the natural oils. Be careful; it burns quickly. Add the chicken stock and blend with the mole paste. Add the chocolate and stirring continuously until well blended (if using the readily available Doña Maria brand, you don't really need to add more chocolate). Lower the heat and cook for 25 minutes, stirring constantly. The mixture should have the consistency of a thick sauce. Adjust seasoning.

Place the chicken in the mole sauce and heat thoroughly. Sprinkle with the sesame seeds. Serve with whole or refried black or pinto beans, rice, and hot corn tortillas.

2005-09-09T15:33:00.000-05:00

HBO's 'Entourage' is presque trop vrai!

Three years ago, when I squeamishly set my left toe into the entertainment/production business, I had no idea it would be filled with such seedy, manipulative, ethic-less, group of liars. The entertainment business makes used car salesman look almost Ghandi-like. But I've learned much and I've lost much (film school would have been a much, much cheaper option at this point). Anyway, the fine folks at 'Entourage' have protrayed the business (at least from the agent prespective) fairly well. They could stand to take the drama and vacuum of morals up a notch however (at least by my experience). I did find some satisfaction in watching the show each week. Almost like therapy - thanks Ari Gold. Here's to the show and cast catching a few Emmy's!

We ran into Adrian Grenier at Sundance and he was eating - all by himself. I was like "dude you can't be alone! Where's your 'entourage'??" ummm, yeah... he didnt think it was funny either...

2005-09-04T13:04:00.000-05:00

Evacuate! Here Comes Hurri-KanyeWest!

The Apocalyptic storm of Katrina was not enough to cause sadness and disruptiveness. Rapper come late 'Kayne' West (actually and for some odd reason - pronounced KAHN-yay) took the DIS-advantaged moment of a somewhat lame NBC hurricane fundraiser to declare...

1) America is set up to take care of the poor & blacks as slow as possible.
2) Troops have been sent into New Orleans to kill black people.
3) GW Bush dosent care about black people.

Mike Myers looked stunned (and thankful that he's Canadian) as well as nervous while Kanye went off like a crazy person who just lost the keys to his gold-plated Hummer. Now personally, I'm not one to say Kanye Kany't speak his mind, I dig freedom of speech, but with that freedom comes responsibility and Kanye dissed that. His timing, the venue he chose and specifically what he had to say will do more harm and damage then any good. He has drawn yet another racial card and thrown it out into the public when it should have never been done. If he feels this way and wants to do something constructive for his people while bashing Bush... well then Kanye, call me, I'm in PR and I also love rap & r&b... I can help you brother - besides we're all in this together anyway, let's act like it...

Kanye West shows off his new color-coded Hurricane warning shirt

2005-09-02T12:22:00.000-05:00

What CAN Brown Do For You?

well... if you live in New Orleans, not much. Michael Brown, director of FEMA has apparently ignored the million plus people on the Gulf coast. In fact, in an interview on NPR neither he nor Homeland Security guru, Michael Certoff even knew that thousands of people were stranded in the N.O. convention center (and still are at this typing). In fact they told the press (which were reporting it) that it was just here-say.. . People want to know why the hell did they not start planning to have troops in outer cities like Mobile, AL ready to roll once Katrina passed? Why didnt they use dozens of helicopters just a few miles away to start lifting people out on tuesday? This is a great example of how lame the federal government would (or will) treat you if (or when) a natural diaster or terror attack hits your town. The leaders of this country are totally out of touch with America. Speaking of that, the Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert even voiced New Orleans should probably be written off as a city. Great response for those without food or water. He didnt even bother to show up for the $10bil vote .. he was at a fundrasier... BTW: I met Dennis and his wife IN New Orleans over a year ago while he was on vaction - he appeared to be enjoying that trip quite a bit.

here's a fascinating Blog from a guy in the heart of New Orleans - updated hourly or so

2005-08-29T19:07:00.000-05:00

If Satan Could Drive A Car...

Then the Maybach Exelero would be his... all his. This concept car (secretly priced at $7,525,000*) must have been designed in hell. It looks stylish, expensive, sexy AND dripping of pure evil. Cool! huh? Gassed up with passengers, it weighs just 7,500lbs (that's 3 Honda Civics and a fat lady). Has a 700 HP V-12 engine and speeds up to 217mph. Fast enough to get you into the 7th gate of hell before the portal closes. See? It IS satan's car! BTW: They've only made *one* (yeah that one) but parent company - Mercedes - is promising a killer cool coupe for next year.

Watch for this vehicle to show up in a Mike Jones or Kanye West music video soon...

*(it is a secret where I got this - sorry can't tell you)

2005-08-27T11:17:00.000-05:00

Medieval Times Worries About Self-Image

You might wonder how a place that dresses women in low-cut costumes, serves beer in little paper cups and encourages patrons to call staff ‘winches’ could possibly worry about it’s self-image. Medieval Times apparently has hit the 21st century. It appears insecurity, political correctness or just perhaps the marketing director has PMS – but they canceled their appearance to be on our television show. I called several times to their marketing people (totally bewildered after a few calls went unanswered) and finally got the local marketing/community relations person. She was cool and aloof (like when your girlfriend breaks up with you and tells you ‘never to call her again’ kinda cool). “But why wouldn’t M.T. want to be featured on TV?” I pleaded with her. “We’re not interested in presenting ourselves in that way” she answered like someone from the White House press office. “Um, in what way?” I asked. “We’re just not interested in presenting ourselves in that way”. She says again. “I understand, but what do you mean “in that way”? (I’m still trying to figure this out.) She only repeated herself TWO MORE TIMES but the last time, I must say she switched “way” for “manner” and that almost threw me. I started to laugh and she hung up. HUNG UP on me and I was baffled. Damn these cheeky entertainment PR people are bitter . I wanted to call back, but the ex-girl-friend-stalker thing stopped me. Oh well. I suppose they thought I was going to make fun of them (which I actually was) or that we would make them look a bit cheesy in knight outfits and all (which I probably would do). I then re-read my 1st email to her and somewhat solved the question after reading my response to a “so, what is your show like” email. My answer: Well, think “Town & Country” meets “Punk’d”. Oh well… off to call Six Flags.

"Secure the castle! A camera crew is on yonder hill!"

2005-08-23T10:22:00.000-05:00

Kurd About The New Constitution Coming Sunni or Later? Shiite Yeah!

Does anyone in politics take history anymore? Or just advanced community college PR skills? Why on Earth did we think we could invade, clean up, rebuild, launch 5 Starbucks and one Walmart AND create a new republic with a kick-ass constitution in like... oh say... 4 years!? It took America over 12 years just to create our constitution (and we hadnt even begun to start killing each other). Just because you have Word, a Pentium M PC and the latest Spellcheck (Middle-East'05 Version 2.3) does not speed up the development of freedom. Ok. I'm done.

2005-08-17T11:26:00.000-05:00

Dallas W Hotel/Residences - 95% sold out... Foreclosurers up 38% - what's up?

If you listen to just 5 mins of news on tv, radio iPodcasts, wherever... you get some pretty conflicting reports. "Oil prices are at an all time high"... "Upscale realestate in Dallas is exploding"... "DFW foreclosures five times higher than two years ago"... "Here's today's bombing reports from Iraq"... "Inflation on the verge of skyrocketing"... "Investors optimistic about global economies"..."Pessimism exponentally growing about Iraq"... "43 percent of new jobs derived from the housing bubble"... so I'm on the fence about where this is all headed. But personally, I'm afraid we are headed towards a very bad economic position in 2006. Hold on to your hardhats...

$2.5mm "W" Hotel/Residences open in March 2006 in Dallas and 2008 in Atlanta.

2005-08-15T10:19:00.000-05:00

I've Officially Had It With SBC Communications

This is one of the world's most f*cked up companies I've had to deal with. I have problems with DSL monthly which takes me hours to fix each time. No longer can you speak to anyone other than people thousands of miles away in India who are clueless about anything and don't really give a shit about your problem in Texas. While I was out of town, I had our account suspended for non-payment. Fine, I called last wed from Houston and resolved the issue. TODAY - MONDAY the service was turned off. They claim it takes up to 84 *Business* hours to update their records. I told them they charged me a $75 reconnect fee and that they should take that money and invest it into some technology which would allow them to *update* their records faster... After all - They ARE a f*cking communications company. I wish there was an alternative for a phone/DSL/Long Distance package but it would appear we are screwed here in the 21st century...

Their new slogan should read
"Providing SHITTY BUSINESS COMMUNICATIONS"

2005-08-10T22:10:00.000-05:00

Saved By Muslims

Back from Houston regarding a meeting for a possible film deal (more on that later when I can actually talk about it). Coming back, I stopped by one of my most favorite DQs in the whole world – (I remember it from college, clean, best food, etc.) I-45 in Huntsville, TX (THE capitol of executions). The lunch crowd was light but very heavy on the low- IQ/construction/white-trash demographic. I sat down with my lunch along with some mail I was catching up on when I overheard a patron speaking to his confedrated WT friend and small child with no shoes... "damn queers keep coming here more everyday." His friend slowly looked around - 180* turn - and loudly said "yep – damn queers". I sat there a bit nervously squeezing out ketchup onto a pile of fries holding back my initial reaction of proclaiming they had misread me as a 'damn queer'. I was in fact actually a married 'metrosexual' who happens to be fond of Prada, Ralph Lauren, Gucci and Banana Republic. The more I thought of explaining the whole concept made me think the outcome would probably be similar had I just laughed and pointed at them in some Will & Grace fashion. Then as they kept looking back at me, the room was becoming hotter than the extra cheese Hungerbuster I had ordered... however, a small miracle occurred in the very nick of time. Within moments, in walked a 5-piece Muslim family. Whew! That was close.

We don't recommend Texas Dairy Queens to Gay Muslims.

2005-07-28T11:04:00.000-05:00

the Six Degrees of Jennifer

J-lo is reportly still depressed about Ben-A's departure and upcoming father-hood with Jen-ben - or so she told ELLE magazine. Jen-ben reportly is having a girl with Ben-a and possibly naming her Violet, cute huh? Ok, here's how all this ties together. I saw Ben and Jen-ben (while the press was all hot about Beniffer) kissing on the LA set of Daredevil well after the director yelled *cut*! I mean, like a long time after, so I knew something was *up*. J-lo was recently interviewed by ELLE and now margaret's ELLE jewerly line just got Jen-ben to wear some of their new styles for a film and upcoming inteview with Women's Wear Daily. If all that didn't make that much sense, don't worry. I'll have a better post next time.

J-lo on ELLE while Jen-ben will be wearing ELLE
Ben-a (-) J-lo (+) Jen-ben (=) Vio-ben

2005-07-26T09:53:00.000-05:00

Chicken-Fried Goss

Last night, I got a call from Angie during my bike ride to come to dinner. (it reminded me of when I was a kid and I'd be off biking and my mom would call me... anyway). It appeared a very important person had to jet back to London and WHAM! in 20 mins, I was to be the stand-in dinner guest! I arrived a few minutes late, but joined Angie and 5 other stylish peeps (including George's boyfriend Kenny Goss) in her wine cellar for a terrific evening of inside gossip, drinks and the best fried chicken I've ever had this side of Tyler.

2005-07-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

MIKE'S DOC HITS THE AMAZON!

"Walking with Freedom" DVD is now available at Amazon.com ...yea!. We've been selling copies everyday since it launched last week and the reviews have been terrific. Comments like: "Michael "Lion King" Daniel does a good job of letting the viewer know the struggles and emotions that a long distance hiker can and often does encounter. Recommended to anyone considering such a hike..."

check it out and stay tuned for the soundtrack out later this summer! :-D

Harry Potter out of stock? Try Walking with Freedom instead!

2005-06-25T17:56:00.000-05:00

Reality TV is exhausting

In The Real World would anyone actually say, "I Want To Be A Hilton"? I mean, really? The Fear Factor is that there are quite a few Jackasses out there looking for Fame that need Extreme Makeovers, or be told What Not To Wear or perhaps should look at just Starting Over. Do they do it For Love Or Money? Well, I think The Benefactors of Reality TV are the networks, which are Cheaters by saving tons of money on production costs and producing shows that don’t really make The Cut. They are the real Survivors while the viewers are The Biggest Losers. The Unsolved Mystery is why all this crazy Strange Love for reality crap TV exists. It makes this Average Joe feel pretty Punk’d and want to leave my Sheer Dallas digs and jump on my American Chopper, break all the Road Rules and head out to Laguna Beach for The Simple Life.

So... Viva La Bam,

-DM

2005-06-13T16:57:00.000-05:00

and the Jacko Breaking News Winners are...

I was surprised who sent out the "Jackson Gets Off" (please people, no more jokes) 'Breaking News' emails 1st. Here they are in the order of arrival to my Yahoo! email addy:

(1) CNN - always (almost always) first on the email / text msg news blitz thing.

(2) AUSTIN AMERICAN STATESMAN - huh? An Austin paper?? "Jackson Found Not Guilty" Yep. AND it was in color.

(3) DALLAS MORNING NEWS - which wrote the longest tabloid-style explanation (maybe that's why they came in 3rd) ..." a jury has acquitted Michael Jackson of molesting a 13-year-old cancer survivor at his Neverland ranch, vindicating the pop star who insisted he was the victim of mother-and-son con artists and a prosecutor with a vendetta"

(4) VARIETY - come on guys! You're in the 'entertainment news' biz! Get with it!

(5) NEW YORK POST - 5th place?? I'm sure all the reporters were on lunch break or watching the Olsen Twins share a birthday dessert across the street.

(6) My friend Juan who is actually in the news biz... (btw: He almost beat the NY Post!) way to go Juan!

(7) WASHINGTON POST - Come on folks! It's 5:57PM you idiots! That simply can't be called "breaking news". These guys need another 'deep throat' - I'll tell Juan (see #6).

Sources I expected to hear from but did not:

BBC - "we're sorry but our email server is down". and adding... "We apologise for the inconvenience but it is an essential piece of work and we will do our best to get it completed as soon as possible." Damn those Brits are so nice and polite!

MTV - I'm sure they are totally busy on some new reality show which has nothing to do with music OR music news. :-P

2005-06-12T21:11:00.000-05:00

Hugh Hefner says "I Love Spaceballs!"

At least that's the one and only thing he said to me at the AFI awards show honoring George Lucas Thursday night. Hugh sat next to Angie's table with his 9 bunnies (yes NINE - all looking rather hot and one dressed as Princess Leah …ugh ). He drank several glasses of Pepsi with what looked to be laden with scotch, which was frequently added to by a friendly waiter. The whole Kodak Theater was transformed into a Lucas Love Fest with giant hanging Star Wars fighter jets to Chewbacca roaming among the tables and making that 'arrrghhhhh' noise (this annoyed one of the Playmates 'to death' or so she said). The highlite of the evening was a somewhat 'toasted' Carrie Fisher who said things like - "Hi. I am Mrs. Han Solo and I am an alcoholic because George Lucas ruined by life... George Lucas is a sadist, but like any other young girl in a metal suit chained to a metal creature, I keep coming back for more." Then she told Lucas, "I hope I slept with you to get that job, because if not, who the hell was that guy."
Everyone was having fun and somewhat roasting Mr. Lucas until Harrison Ford arrived on stage. He just seemed to have a giant stick up his butt. Nothing was happy, good, well meaning, etc. Life sucked and he wanted to suck any and all life out of every person’s soul at the Kodak theater that night. R2D2’s remote fucked up on stage and he was stationary for 15 mins as CP30 kinda freaked out and the crew scrambled to find out what happened. “Did anyone put in a new fucking battery?” I overheard one crewmember ask off stage. All in all, the night was fun and I even got to hang with Dallas' own Playmate, Amber Campisi at the after-party upstairs. I also watched from 20 feet away as Spielberg and Lucas toasted drinks of something with vodka in it. I desperately tried to make out what they were talking about... I did not however, desperately try to make out with Amber.

the Lucas Love Fest and legendary hair will be on USA Networks JUNE 20th

2005-06-02T09:23:00.000-05:00

WAY TO GO TEXAS LEGISLATORS!

Let's hear it for those Austin guys in drab suits from the Men's Warehouse! Not only did they kill any creative education financing, they also stripped Texas from offering any cool tax incentives to the filmmaking & television industry! YEE-HAAAW! Each and every state surrounding us has various forms of incentive packages for entertainment production (which by the way brings in tens of millions of dollars to those economies) but Texas is one of the LAST states to offer - nothing. Even the 'tiny' $20mil bill which was submitted would have been a start (no tax on production vehicles rent/lease, hotel rooms and other sales tax incentives would have been an INVESTMENT to TX) ... So, congratulations to the politicians in Austin for accomplishing nothing this session! You guys rock!!

Dunnam Honored As Top Legislator

KWTX news: "Rep. Jim Dunnam (D-Waco) helped craft an education plan, which supporters said *would* have added $5.2 billion to Texas public schools while reducing property taxes for most Texans..."

ahh... thanks Jim, it's the thought that counts

2005-05-19T17:54:00.000-05:00

Way to Go Mike D! the Appalachian Trail doc Rocks!

Mike Daniel called me to say not only did the 600 DVDs arrive into some remote part of Virginia (where Trail Days Festival happens each year) but to also say that his screening of the film sold out with over 400 people in attendance! We've got "Walking with Freedom" into several outfitters stores (a few have even sold out!) and into an Amazon.com store this weekend. I'm setting a goal for us to sell 12,000 copies THIS year alone! Keep up the awesome work MikeD (whereever in B.F.E. you may be at the moment).

PS: While we're waiting to get these into the Amazon store, you can send a check to Barking Harley Productions for $20.00 to:

WALKING WITH FREEDOM
PO BOX 190748
DALLAS, TX 75219

and we'll send you Mike's documentary on DVD via USPS!

An overview of the Appalachain Trail is currently airing on PBS up north. The cost to produce it? $1.2mil. Right. Mike and I spent $38,921.27 on ours! :-D

2005-05-17T17:40:00.000-05:00

Development is a pain in the...

With the construction going on across the street, jackhammers in the middle of the street, a backhoe knocking a hole in my fence, AND some loud-ass, ground-beating piece of monster equipment just 25 feet away, it is amazing I can get any work done at all. After a week of this, having my house shaken (and stirred) is REALLY pissing me off. Perhaps Vallera Condos and McKinney Development Group should visit with the IISD about the new catch phrase 'Sustainable Development' ... then perhaps I can work... and even sleep otherwise, you'll be hearing from my attorney (I just love saying that phrase)

Sorry about that, I spilled my BigGulp...

2005-04-25T09:06:00.000-05:00

Henry Cisneros

This past weekend, Margaret, Stewart, his wife and myself met with Henry in San Antonio to speak with him about our education foundation, 'Perfect Attendance'. I was amazed at how professional and well-spoken he was. As we sat-up in a small downtown hotel room and recorded a seamless motivational piece from him aimed at high school students, I couldn't help but think about what he's gone through in politics and his personal life. It was just days after the U.S. Congress had voted to finally drop the 10-year, $21 million investigation on him while he headed H.U.D. (housing urban development) for Clinton. Many people think the prolonged inquiry was to hold him back from running for something higher. Thinking about that and hearing him talk about overcoming adversity at all levels, I felt I could take on anything. I hope he interacts with the project more as we move forward this next school year.

The world definitely needs more Mr. Cisneros'.

2005-04-13T19:56:00.000-05:00

and now in other White Trash Headlines...

This is hilarious. A Watagua, TX (a mobile home community outside of Ft.Worth) mom calls 911 to report that her daughters are fighting and tearing up her house (one of them has even kicked a hole in a door). Instead of acting as a responsible parent... she calls the police (this must be why the folks at the 911 center don't take me seriously when someone actually breaks-and-enters my property)... but as Katie Couric would say... "anyway".. well, you just have to listen ...

"Billy! Stop hitting your brother! That does it! I'm calling the FBI!" ((click here!))

2005-04-04T09:32:00.000-05:00

When Teachers Attack...

Just when you think schools may be a tad bit safer... along comes something like this where a teacher violently attacks another teacher in front of a classroom. Yes, now I'm sure ABC News or 20/20 will do a story about how "teachers may be the new terror in the classroom" (right after the most dangerous SUV segment). In any case, this teacher did more to destroy any good role-modeling than a 6-week series of non-stop, 50-cent music videos on MTV ever could.

(from the Dallas Morning News) Last friday at the William B. Travis Academy/Vanguard for the Academically Talented and Gifted (and now totally freaked out)... Paulette Baines (teacher) yanked Mary Oliver (the other teacher) out of her chair and dragged her across the floor, punching her in the face several times. She also kicked her repeatedly..." Oh, and Billy, put away that GameBoy now! I mean it!

... not just a cartoon any more

2005-04-01T18:00:00.000-06:00

Reasons it should be legal to Taser people…

I’m pushing for new legislation to allow us ordinary citizens the right to Taser people who commit these acts:

- People who run stop signs then honk at YOU like its your fault (you would have the right to chase them down, issue a ticket and then Taser them)

- Anyone who takes your parking space at the mall (while watching you wait patiently with your turn signal on)

- People inside the theater who talk on their cell phones… those doing this during the previews can be tasered up to 3 times in a row or until your Taser battery runs down.

- Shoppers with more than 25 items, tons of coupons and a check to write over the amount … in the “cash or 15 or less items” line. You may also let those behind you Taser this person as well.

- That same person outside of 7-11 everyday who claims they’ve just run out of gas, they’re from out of town and need your money

- Dog owners who let their pets crap in your yard next to the sign (“Please Keep Pets off Lawn”). If the dog barks and or growls, you may Taser it to.

- People who blame their mistakes on you

- Anyone that has a child on one of those ‘kid leash’ cords

2005-03-30T07:55:00.000-06:00

"When Models Attack"

It could be a new Discovery channel show or maybe TLC, but this week, Naomi Campbell (once again) 'attacked her personal assistant' - with her hand and a BlackBerry (the PDA - not the fruit) while in Brazil. The woman was left crying and was told by Naomi not to report it. So much for that. Last year, Campbell's immigrant maid Millicent Burton went to Lenox Hill Hospital after she and Naomi got into a physical fight over "packing a suitcase in Campbell's Park Avenue apartment". Three years ago, Naomi was in court for attacking her assitant - Georgina Galanis - with a cellphone and fists.

In other news, struggling alcoholic, Joan Kennedy (Ted's Ex) was found on the streets of Boston beaten and passed out. If I was her publicist, I'd blame the incident on Naomi.

(from the BlackBerry website).... "allows you to communicate more effectively and enhance your competitive advantage..." well... ouch!

2005-03-22T12:38:00.000-06:00

Dallas! We're Number One!

... in crime that is. How on Earth can a nice, southern, Texas town be the worst in the country for all types of crimes? And better yet, how can we do it for seven years in row? Besides Dallas residents having a 42% higher chance of being buglarized... we also have a chance of being murdered at: 1 out of 4,294! That's better than Texas Lotto! Well, here's some other categories Dallas is #1 in:

- Tanning Salons per capita
- Restaurants per capita
- Small business growth in Texas
- Top Tourist stop in Texas
- Most new HIV cases amoung minorities
- Highest price per gallon of gas
- Most building regulations
- Best collection of 20th century historic homes
- Worst Mayor ...... ..(ok, I added that myself)

"Excuse me... but did you see a gang member with a semi-automatic come by here?"

2005-03-09T09:29:00.000-06:00

Russell Crowe... you're so Level Orange

Terrorists apparently moved airports, skyscrapers and nuclear plants to the backburner for a few months to explore what the FBI calls… "Cultural Destabilization Plan" or (CDP) if you work there - they DIG acronyms. Russell Crowe was an early kidnap target (as you may all remember back in 2001). And I just thought it was creative PR from his agent. Evidently, if al-Qaida can kidnap/kill enough Hollywood celebrities, they could bring the U.S. completely down. (insert scene clip from “Team America” here). I suppose entertainment is still on the top of our export list and if you want to destroy a country, you go after their natural resources (insert CNN Iraq war clip here). It just kinda scares me to think our natural resource – (insert clip of Lindsey Lohan screaming about her dad here) - is the U.S. equivalent to Iran’s oil reserves.

Due to elevated threats the MPAA has raised crude & wholesale prices per scene on Vin Diesel

2005-03-01T18:57:00.000-06:00

Oscar Mayor Beemer

This could be a really long thread about all the celebs I got to meet at the Oscars... but I'll spare you that... so here's the Cliff Note version.............. Mark and I arrive LA Saturday AM. Rent PT Cruiser, check into hotel, drive around and shoot b-roll. Drove along-side Keanu Reeves backseat in a 3-series Beemer on Sunset with a drunk girl. Yelled out window, "Hey, I interviewed you at Sundance!" we chatted briefly at a stop light. Drunk girl pulled shirt up over face & stuck bare feet out window. Shot footage at the security-clad Kodak center during set up - saw Gary Cogill. Sunday - went to Elton John's party - accidently sat at "Guest of Mayor of Beverly Hills" seat. Had Sea Bass & glass of wine. Wine was very good. Had 2nd glass of wine. Live auction started, a bit buzzed - bid on Elton's piano for $80K. Had panic attack. Sold for $120K to wealthy, big guy with a pacemaker patent. Got a hug from Elton and some dessert with Elton's face on it. Waved at Trump - he just stared. Shook William Macy's hand. Went to the bathroom, saw Elizabeth Taylor next to a wheelchair. Stood at the urinal next to Eddie Izzard & uncomfortable pleasantries. Went to bar - bar out of water. Got a martini instead. Stared at Sharon Osbourne since she looked kinda weird. Interviewed Tim Allen & Kelsey Grammer (Kelsey dosent like Chris Rock). Security says "please put camera away". Ok. Got into VIP section. Video-d Elton John, Nick Rhodes, John Taylor and got a drink for Salma Hayek. She wants a water. Bar is out of water (how can you be out of water????!) VIP section won't let me back in. Gave cup of ice to Salma across the sea of bodyguards. Taped John Waters, Christina Agulira, and Pat O'Brien. Security asks me to turn off my camera... "um... ok". Met Ben Kingsley - never met him before and he said "it's nice to see you again David". (oookay) Chatted with Kyle MacLaughlin while listening to & video taping the Scissor Sisters on stage. Security takes away my camera. I get it back and head for the valet @ 2:05am.

<----- Mr. Izzard (pin stripes) contemplates leaving Elton's party early.

2005-02-20T15:25:00.000-06:00

Cool, I have Paris Hilton's Address Book...

along with 235,998 other people. Someone apparently hi-jacked her T-Mobil Sidekick's info stored on the telecommunication company's servers and posted it for all the world to see. Ashlee Simpson, Russel Simmons, Christina Aguilera, Fred Durst, Mark Cuban, Seth Green and even Fergie's phone numbers and emails were posted on dozens of websites along with personal text msgs and photos (some nude of course). Something to think about next time you send yourself a text msg with passcodes, flight details, bank info and such. Its no longer just your private info once you hit 'send'. Talk about a little-black-book emergency! Ah, but this is Paris we're talking about, so somehow this will all turn into a postive event I'm sure...

Pick up dry cleaning/Melrose
Call Maroon5
------------
Ashley margolis 3236467883 producer mary pallon
Peter lopez will black eye pees rob b
Nicky hilton private plane to vegas
Ken baker at us in town party at sagamore on friday. Steve madden shooot. Break in 323 3596970 -------- 1347 922 1456 naomi Do you wanna leave soon, ill pretend I hsve 2 go pee and u wait 3 mins than come by yourself to the back entrance

((yes, actual text msgs))

2005-02-18T10:37:00.000-06:00

"Dinner for Five" or four, or eight...

Last night, I attended a dinner event at Abacus hosted by U.K. based DinnerPoint. I had read about it in the Financial Times. The concept is rather simple, put 4-8 professional strangers together at an upscale restaurant and discuss ... whatever. There were only 3 of us, but we had great conversation and a fun time networking and comparing circles of friends. Will Cochran & his college mate Fenner Austin (are those British names or what?) started the concept last year and now have 100s of dinner events all over the world. All you do is go to their website, create a profile, choose your top 3 cities in the world and wa-la! Each dinner event cost $20 + meals, wine, etc. So if you're stranded in Sydney, London, Tokyo, Dallas or Milan ... no worries! You've got a party of 5 waiting anxiously to meet you!

Soon... people all over the world will be eating dinner just like Jon Favreau

2005-02-17T10:08:00.000-06:00

A new book is published every 30 mins...

That makes over 175,000 books a year that get printed and into some form of distribution. And I thought filmmaking was competetive? With more people seeking visual forms of entertainment and less of us actually reading, novelists out there must really strive to get noticed and published. Ron McLarty (a successful character actor) even had a tough time getting his 1st book - "Memory of Running" published... over 11 years of rejection letters to be exact! SO don't ever give up. ok Ron, I'm going to do my part and pick up a new book this weekend.

2005-02-11T21:50:00.000-06:00

the 411 on 411...

Ok.... a break from the filmmaking world to rant on the telecommunications world. When I was a kid, calling 1+411 for information was free. Yikes! and my mom STiLL wouldnt' let me call for random phone numbers in Ireland. Now, with all the connectivity and access to info, the carriers have decided to charge us at least $1.25 (some charge $3.00) per call and only give us the right number say 70% of the time. With all the calls I make every week, I use 411 on average 15 times and I usually get wrong numbers, fax numbers, other people's home numbers and yes, even disconnected numbers. Mark (my assistant and all around awesome crew guy) turned me onto google search. It's free and all you have to do is text 46645 with the listing name, city and state and WA-LA! you get a number, address and if your cell phone is GSM enabled DISTANCE to said listing ... all just moments later! No more rude woman in Hoboken, Jersey attempting to look up Dickey's BBQ in Uptown anymore! :-D

"No... I don't have a listing for Ima Bittich.. and why are you laughing?"

2005-02-04T11:19:00.000-06:00

New York City, Lagerfeld vs. Kidman

So, we're in NYC for the amfAR event - where we caught Richard Gere, Kenneth Cole, Gina Gershon and the new and beautiful Lynn Collins (who is in the new "Merchant of Venice" flick and is also from Texas). Angie made a scene on the Red Carpet as she knew more people to get an air-kiss from than Extra's Tanika Ray. On the street the next day, Karl Lagerfeld was roaming about with his fashion posse and cameras to block traffic and shoot for an upcoming CHANEL ad. Angie promptly stopped by the designer by saying "I have one of everything you've ever made". He turned around immediately with a smile and gave an interview. He only had great things to say about Nicole Kidman (don't believe all the U.K. press about him saying she wears "bizarre body makeup". Ok now off to the fashion tent at Byrant Park for more drama....

iPod... therefore I am.