The Rodent Magic of David Blaine...
For over four months, Margaret and I have heard this little scurrying, shuffling and gnawing a few times a week sometime between 3:00 - 5:00AM. I didn't think too much about it as our house is over 85 years old and completely haunted
(that'll be another post in the near future), but once entire pieces of French soap went missing, I had to take action. Catching a mouse
is suppose to be easy. So, I bought some traps and set them out a few weeks ago... nothing. In fact, one morning I walked into the bathroom to find my special cheese/peanutbutter/Frito bait
completely GONE - with the trap still open. Oh yeah, he's good.
He can also make noise anywhere in the room but once the lights are on, he completely disappears - into a wall? a drawer? Electric outlet? my boxers? Who knows but becase of his magical powers, he has earned the name of David Blaine
. Margaret awoke the other night screaming like something out of a Stephen King movie only to find Mr. Blaine atop my amoire with a paperclip in his mouth. He quickly vanished as usual - into thin air. So, I brought up Harley. Harley will find the elusive rodent. No, she sniffed around for half an hour then ... all three of us fell asleep - except for 'david'... we all awoke to more missing cheese/peanutbutter/fritos... and a large chunk of soap missing. Smart mice perfer Smart Cars...
Just a shitty review of my day...
This has got to be one of the worst days of my life. I shouldn’t even say that because as soon as I do… the Universe has this way of saying … “Really? Ya think so huh? Well try on THIS day asshole!” So, I’ll say it’s in the top 3% of worst days. Anyway, it went like this:
2) Bulldozer shows up to dig up yard, sprinkler system and replace gas line SURPRISE and I can’t get them to reschedule the dig.
3) Out of coffee
4) Conference call at 9:00am – phone dies
5) Conference call at 9:15am – next door construction crew starts cutting CONCERETE (this sound is louder than sitting on a plane on the last row during take off) – sound continues until FOUR PM.
6) Mortgage broker calls to say the lender – after 65 days of processing - has denied our refinance loan
7) Still out of coffee
8) Harley gets stung by a bee outside
9) DVDs I order for Mike’s documentary ($3,099 worth mind you) are wrong copy and a screening takes place this weekend during Trail Days. Our big weekend to make a sale. Scramble to get Doug to burn new DVD’s to FedEx.
10) Trying to dressed quickly, my toe catches a small hole in my jeans and completely rips them
11) Go online to chase to pay some bills, passcode locked up and don’t have time / patience to go through the unbelievably long process of a new one
12) Postman delivers special delivery for signature: What is it? Why a foreclosure from our bank of course.
13) Can’t leave the house as bulldozer is now parked in my driveway and digging a twelve foot hole in neighbor’s yard
14) Order Pizza – have no money – can’t write a check when delivery comes. I start to cry – they let me write a check.
15) Harley is ok – but grumpy and barking at Bailey.
16) Air-conditioner won’t come on downstairs – find out – compressor is BLOWN.
17) Finally get out of driveway to run errands – forget check to deposit. Go back to bank – no money in ATM (funds on hold).
18) Purchase three bottles of wine
19) Oh and Andy Dick emailed me about something – that wasn’t bad, but random – so I thought it mentioned a mention
20) Type blog and get wasted.