The Celebrity Life & Blog of DM
Monday, August 29, 2005
If Satan Could Drive A Car...

Then the Maybach Exelero would be his... all his. This concept car (secretly priced at $7,525,000*) must have been designed in hell. It looks stylish, expensive, sexy AND dripping of pure evil. Cool! huh? Gassed up with passengers, it weighs just 7,500lbs (that's 3 Honda Civics and a fat lady). Has a 700 HP V-12 engine and speeds up to 217mph. Fast enough to get you into the 7th gate of hell before the portal closes. See? It IS satan's car! BTW: They've only made *one* (yeah that one) but parent company - Mercedes - is promising a killer cool coupe for next year.

Watch for this vehicle to show up in a Mike Jones or Kanye West music video soon...

*(it is a secret where I got this - sorry can't tell you)
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Medieval Times Worries About Self-Image

You might wonder how a place that dresses women in low-cut costumes, serves beer in little paper cups and encourages patrons to call staff ‘winches’ could possibly worry about it’s self-image. Medieval Times apparently has hit the 21st century. It appears insecurity, political correctness or just perhaps the marketing director has PMS – but they canceled their appearance to be on our television show. I called several times to their marketing people (totally bewildered after a few calls went unanswered) and finally got the local marketing/community relations person. She was cool and aloof (like when your girlfriend breaks up with you and tells you ‘never to call her again’ kinda cool). “But why wouldn’t M.T. want to be featured on TV?” I pleaded with her. “We’re not interested in presenting ourselves in that way” she answered like someone from the White House press office. “Um, in what way?” I asked. “We’re just not interested in presenting ourselves in that way”. She says again. “I understand, but what do you mean “in that way”? (I’m still trying to figure this out.) She only repeated herself TWO MORE TIMES but the last time, I must say she switched “way” for “manner” and that almost threw me. I started to laugh and she hung up. HUNG UP on me and I was baffled. Damn these cheeky entertainment PR people are bitter . I wanted to call back, but the ex-girl-friend-stalker thing stopped me. Oh well. I suppose they thought I was going to make fun of them (which I actually was) or that we would make them look a bit cheesy in knight outfits and all (which I probably would do). I then re-read my 1st email to her and somewhat solved the question after reading my response to a “so, what is your show like” email. My answer: Well, think “Town & Country” meets “Punk’d”. Oh well… off to call Six Flags.

"Secure the castle! A camera crew is on yonder hill!"
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Kurd About The New Constitution Coming Sunni or Later? Shiite Yeah!

Does anyone in politics take history anymore? Or just advanced community college PR skills? Why on Earth did we think we could invade, clean up, rebuild, launch 5 Starbucks and one Walmart AND create a new republic with a kick-ass constitution in like... oh say... 4 years!? It took America over 12 years just to create our constitution (and we hadnt even begun to start killing each other). Just because you have Word, a Pentium M PC and the latest Spellcheck (Middle-East'05 Version 2.3) does not speed up the development of freedom. Ok. I'm done.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Dallas W Hotel/Residences - 95% sold out... Foreclosurers up 38% - what's up?

If you listen to just 5 mins of news on tv, radio iPodcasts, wherever... you get some pretty conflicting reports. "Oil prices are at an all time high"... "Upscale realestate in Dallas is exploding"... "DFW foreclosures five times higher than two years ago"... "Here's today's bombing reports from Iraq"... "Inflation on the verge of skyrocketing"... "Investors optimistic about global economies"..."Pessimism exponentally growing about Iraq"... "43 percent of new jobs derived from the housing bubble"... so I'm on the fence about where this is all headed. But personally, I'm afraid we are headed towards a very bad economic position in 2006. Hold on to your hardhats...

$2.5mm "W" Hotel/Residences open in March 2006 in Dallas and 2008 in Atlanta.
Monday, August 15, 2005
I've Officially Had It With SBC Communications

This is one of the world's most f*cked up companies I've had to deal with. I have problems with DSL monthly which takes me hours to fix each time. No longer can you speak to anyone other than people thousands of miles away in India who are clueless about anything and don't really give a shit about your problem in Texas. While I was out of town, I had our account suspended for non-payment. Fine, I called last wed from Houston and resolved the issue. TODAY - MONDAY the service was turned off. They claim it takes up to 84 *Business* hours to update their records. I told them they charged me a $75 reconnect fee and that they should take that money and invest it into some technology which would allow them to *update* their records faster... After all - They ARE a f*cking communications company. I wish there was an alternative for a phone/DSL/Long Distance package but it would appear we are screwed here in the 21st century...

Their new slogan should read
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Saved By Muslims

Back from Houston regarding a meeting for a possible film deal (more on that later when I can actually talk about it). Coming back, I stopped by one of my most favorite DQs in the whole world – (I remember it from college, clean, best food, etc.) I-45 in Huntsville, TX (THE capitol of executions). The lunch crowd was light but very heavy on the low- IQ/construction/white-trash demographic. I sat down with my lunch along with some mail I was catching up on when I overheard a patron speaking to his confedrated WT friend and small child with no shoes... "damn queers keep coming here more everyday." His friend slowly looked around - 180* turn - and loudly said "yep – damn queers". I sat there a bit nervously squeezing out ketchup onto a pile of fries holding back my initial reaction of proclaiming they had misread me as a 'damn queer'. I was in fact actually a married 'metrosexual' who happens to be fond of Prada, Ralph Lauren, Gucci and Banana Republic. The more I thought of explaining the whole concept made me think the outcome would probably be similar had I just laughed and pointed at them in some Will & Grace fashion. Then as they kept looking back at me, the room was becoming hotter than the extra cheese Hungerbuster I had ordered... however, a small miracle occurred in the very nick of time. Within moments, in walked a 5-piece Muslim family. Whew! That was close.

We don't recommend Texas Dairy Queens to Gay Muslims.
'True Stories from the other side of Hollywood' - Launched: MARCH 29, 2004 DM is a filmmaker living in Dallas, Texas USA. DM loves music (Cobain to Vivaldi), movies, politics, celebs that get drunk and travelling anywhere in Italy. He's married to Margaret and has a Jack Russell. Feel free to contact DM at: dmburrows98@yahoo.com

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