The Celebrity Life & Blog of DM
Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World
I have to give Albert Brooks kudos for having the esferas do touro*
(as K-FED would say) to make a film
about laughing at/with/beside/nervously the Muslim culture. I havent seen it yet, but I'm very curious now... It appears there is no
humor in the Islamic world when it comes to any topic about Islam itself. Take the Danish cartoon
for example (see below). Its not even a good
cartoon - I don't really even get myself. But the Muslims are furiously mad about it. Calling for a jihad, closing embassies and protesting by the 10's of thousands. Now, I'm not sure but I think these people are just looking
for a reason to fight. We're talking about a cartoon for Muhammad's sake! These are the same people that call America 'the land of Satan' but they're pissed about a cartoon(?). This should worry everyone because if a cartoon (without even a witty caption I might add) is driving this kind of global Muslim anger, I'm pretty worried about what's yet to come from this growing and dangerous religion... I just hope they don't bomb us because of Albert Brooks...
* Bull's Balls The offending 'cartoon'. I have some suggested captions. You may choose your own.
1) "oh, I feel an immense headache coming on!"
2) "sniff, sniff... do you smell
3) "What a long day .... I'm ready to blow this place!"
4) "Right, sure. I have a 'bomb in my hair'
! Ha Ha. Like I'm gonna fall for that joke again!"
The Art of Popo Zao
In tribute to Kfed's new release, please enjoy these lyrics... In Portuguese it means bring your ass
On the floor and move it real fast
I wanna see your kitty and a little bitta titty
Wanna know where I go when I'm in your city
Girl, don't you worry about all the dough
Cuz a cat is coming straight outta the know
Ready rock them shows all the ...
Bring that Brazil booty on the floor
Up, down, all around
Work that shit to this funky sound
Wanna see what I'm gonna owe
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao
Po, Po, Po, Po, PopoZao, PopoZao
Its probably not just chance that K-Fed Banc Corp shares and KFED the 'artist' shares are both tracking south...
Alexa's Big Phat Greek Wedding
The other night I ran into Alexa Conomos at ZaZa Hotel bar with some about-to-be bridesmaids in tow. They were all drinking (as was I) and we hugged and chatted. She had some t-shirt on with text I can't remember now what it said. I hope I didnt try to kiss her, as I can't remember that either. Channel 8 covered the post wedding highlights here...
.. Weeks before Alexa got married, she came to our house and did a story about me, commuting and my little Barking Harley Studio... she even drank my coffee and played with Harley! :D (ha!) anyway, more of that here...ah... Alexa, we'll always have that channel 8 news & traffic story, we always will...
Scientology Meets Studio 54
I learned about 'the beautiful room'
from "D" magazine and just a few days later, read more about this elusive/exclusive, very Dallas oriented culture-cult. It appears to be an online dating service cult meets private VIP party you 'audition' for online. Yet, no one knows anything about it... why, because everyone gets rejected. We even sent in some very hot pics of an 20 year old blonde female. I guess this shows just how shallow our culture has become... and how desperate to fit into that Uptown shallowness I've become (ha)... I got my polite, yet to-the-point rejection letter today...
We appreciate your interest in The Beautiful Room. Unfortunately, your submission
did not meet one or more of the membership criteria
and The Beautiful Room will not be able to extend an invitation for membership to you. Please understand that the qualification process is completely confidential and we are unable to release specific information concerning your application.
Thank you so much for your time.
The Beautiful Room
The letter ends with the command 'be beautiful'
... and yet, I can't
be... so sad. so sad...
Elmo Goes 50-cent on Toddlers
A sad day in Sesame Street history happened in Dallas last week when 16-month old Miranda was verbally assaulted by Elmo with the phrase "who wants to die?".
"Potty Time with Elmo" apparently turned into Potty Mouth Elmo when 20+ books with the accidently placed message got into stores... I'm going to Target and see if I can find one. I'll also be looking for Cookie Monster to ask "where my biotches at!?",
Big Bird to inquire "Who's your daddy?"
and the Count to simply proclaim .. "you fu@king suck!"
well... I won't even begin
to explore that things you could do with this book
When ICONS Go Bad
When I was in college, I rebelled - like we all do - however I rebelled by becoming a College Republican (much to my Texas Democrat family's consternation). I not only became a C.R., I ran for president of the vast membership at Baylor
– my family continued to freak. So, to finish off my parents anguish, I ran for and won the title of chairman for the College Republican's
of Texas - WHOO HOO!. Also, at that time, Jack Abramoff
(conservative political activist and lobbyist) was my leader, my coach, my mentor who I wanted to grow up and be just like – rich, powerful and a chick-magnet (I’m being serious here). He came to Texas and wined and dined me. We went golfing, smoked cigars and enjoyed carousing around Austin
. Jack told me I could become a powerful political entity, run for office and have whatever I wanted – Jack told me a lot of things. Somehow (thank god) all the glitter and shiny-ness wore off and I lost interest in the political world my senior year.
Fast forward a few years: Early this morning, my 1st text message was from CNN – "Abramoff to plead guilty to fraud, other charges".
I read it and went back to work on projects and thought to myself how glad I am to be a political independent who is much more selective of who he chooses to vote for and who he looks to for mentoring.
Happy New Year and choose your icons wisely.CNN: Abramoff pleads guilty to contributing to the delinquency of my college major
NEVER take your dog to "Man's Best Friend"
Bailey (my 18-month old black lab) stayed during the Christmas holidays at the Grand Prairie Man's Best Friend
kennel/training facility. The mere fact that they had room at the last min. should have been a red flag to me - but I took him there anyway since I was rushed for a solution. 1st off, they lost our reservation for Bailey. 2nd, They have tons of rules, things to sign off on (more than I've ever seen for any
kennel - and I've seen lots) and most of the area is not allowed to enter for pet owners - THAT worried me also. Then when I come to pick him up 5 days later, they can't find him. I'm not allowed to go back into the facility to help search either - now I'm really fucking freaking out. When they DO find him and bring him out, he's coughing, shaking and has no energy. I ask if a vet examined him - they tell me there IS NO VET. SO I ask questions (while I become more angry), they tell me he 'looks fine' and whatever he has 'he didn't pick it up at there place' (yeah right). In fact, they told me to give him cough syrup and forget about it.... NOW my dog's on deaths' door and I'm ready to sue the living fuck out of these bastard evil people.
NEVER take your dog to Man's Best Friend kennels for boarding or training NEVER EVER... They don't give a SHIT about animals - just money.